We'll Never Be The Same
by alyssa-inw0nderland
Summary: Set during/post The Worst Couple. What if Jade had been pregnant during their break up, but was too afraid to tell Beck? BeckxJade
1. Chapter 1

"T-ten,"

I tried for an angry, irritated tone, but my voice cracked at the end. I noticed how hesitant I sounded and mentally kicked myself. Jade West was not hesitant. Her voice did not crack. She was not pathetic, I told myself.

I bit my lip, and scowled at the door. Was he truly not going to come out? How could he not? How could he just... I didn't finish that thought. Hesitantly, again, I stepped forward and placed an unsteady hand on the door handle of the Vegas' front door. I wanted to kill him. I would kill him. But I just couldn't bring myself to turn the knob. How foolish would I look to Vega and the rest? How could he do this me? Embarass me like this?

There has it, West. The last of your ultimatums, your schemes to keep him yours, finally finished. The only question that remained in my mind is how much I was willing to bet Vega had her hands on some part of his body right this minute. A pang of anger rose in my chest and it took all of my power to restrain myself from re-entering her household, but to kill the both of them this time.

My bite enhanced, attempting to bottle up not only the anger, but rising sobs in my chest. I felt my throat tighten and tears develop in my very wide eyes. In defeat, I walked away from the house. God dammit, I thought, as I realized I would have to walk home, since Beck had driven me over here. Just the thought of his name brought more tears to my eyes. I felt several escape and begin to travel down my cheek. And suddenly, I was sobbing, violently, as I walked down the lit up Hollywood street. And now I couldn't stop.

All I wanted was for him to come after me, run from Tori's house and beg for my forgiveness. I could picture it in my head. Beads of nervous prespiration staining his forehead, sweeping a hand through that hair of his that I loved so much. His voice shaky, scared of losing me. His arms around me tight, when I finally agreed to take him back, knowing all along that I would because I loved him so damn much, but putting on a strong front, to keep him guessing, to punish him for leaving me outside that fucking door, for hurting me. But I wasn't strong. I was weak.

God, how could he.. why would he? But I was going to tell him tonight. I was going to tell him about the... I couldn't even bring myself to think about that right now. Jesus, Beck, why did you have ruin it all? I placed a reassuring hand over my stomach, as I continued to make my way home. My house wasn't all that far away from Tori's, maybe a little over a mile, which I was grateful for, on this cold for L.A. brisk night. I run a hand smoothly over my warm cheek and find my fingers stained black with makeup. I sighed and proceeded to wipe it on my jeans, truly not giving one care of what a mess I most likely look. I couldn't help but feel as if my whole world had just fallen to the ground.

I kept telling myself not to look back._ Don't look back, don't look back,_ as the last few hours replayed in my head. (Ironic, huh?) The look in Beck's eye when he told me he was tired of fighting. The glimmer in those dark brown irises that told me he wasn't just tired of fighting. He was sick of me. I shut my eyes, and allowed my arm to fall over my stomach, feeling nauseous.

_"I'm not happy with our relationship,"_ he said it with an icy tone. Not only in front of all our friends, which would be enough to completely humiliate me, but in the pressence of a live audience, on Sinjin's godforsaken game show. Those five words caused my heart to fall, my stomach to drop. It created a sickening feeling that not even morning sickness could compare to. The feeling that you're losing the love of your life.

Then another array of moments passed through my mind. All those times where Beck told me, no, promised me, that he wouldn't leave me. They laid out, one after another, like a pretty collage within my brain. The first time, ironically enough, being right after our first time. As our bodies collapsed onto one anothers, the act being more sensual than anything else, he breathed my name and pulled me into his arms. I remember that I had never felt so safe in my entire life. Then he leaned closer and planted a wet kiss on my forehead. "I love you, Jade West. I love you so much. I'll love you forever. I promise I'll never stop. I'll never leave you."

I averted my eyes, and smiled a small smile. Although the line enough made me giddy, I refused to show it. I muttered a "Damn, you're so cheesy." and then looked up into his eyes. "But I love you, too."

Rolling over to direct myself in front of my clock radio, I peeked up at the time. It was 11:48 P.M. Nearly midnight. Three hours into this break up, and I felt the ache within my chest. I wanted nothing more than his arms around me.

And, I didn't really care if I had to seem weak to get what I wanted this time. Because love wasn't about constantly appearing strong to one another. I learned a long time ago that I didn't have to pretend with him. So why the hell should I pretend now when I needed him the most?

So I rolled out of bed without a second thought. I grabbed my keys, and I sped my way to Beck's house, hoping I could get there before midnight, hoping I wouldn't have to start this new day without him.

Recollection of the second time Beck had promised me his love and pressence forever flashed through my head, as I sped my way to his R.V.

It right after that kiss he shared with Vega, her very first day at Hollywood Arts. I had fled the classroom, in attempts of both not to strangle that bitch, and to shed tears of embarassment and anger elsewhere. But of course, Beck chased after me. I was en route to the janitor's closet, when I felt his grip on my arm.

_"What the fuck, Beck?!" I asked, as I whipped around to glare at him through inevitable tears._

_He stared at me dumbfoundedly, with clear regret in his eyes. Yanking my arm away from his grasp, I began to speed away, reaching the janitor's closet. But he followed close behind, and pushed through even as I attempted to shut the door of the closet on him._

_"Jade, please." His voice was genuine, as he placed a warm hand on my bare shoulder. "You know that didn't mean anything. I was just going along with the game."_

_"You didn't have to kiss her!" I shouted at him, feeling somewhat blind with rage. Or perhaps because of the ever developing moisture in my eyes. I didn't normally cry. Even in my biggest spouts of jealousy and temper tantrums. But it was whenever I was truly enraged, past the point even, hurt, that I cried. And embarassingly enough, this was one of those moments._

_"The letter was L! You could have 'Let's not!', 'Lip locking would not be good!', 'Like I would ever want to ', 'Leave me alone,'" I counted the possibilites of his could have been replies on my fingers, angrily._

_And suddenly, he crashed his lips into mine. I pulled away immediately, still angry at him, but the electricity of his touch lingered on my mouth, slightly calming me down, yet stirring me up in an entirely different way all at the same time._

_"You're right. I'm sorry." Beck sighed and brushed a piece of my hair behind my ear, as I crossed my arms and stared into him._

_It always ended up like this. Me, attempting to maintain my anger at him, and him, using my obvious affection for him against me until I melted back into his arms. I swear to God, he was so manipulative sometimes._

_"You're the only one I care about, Jade. Not anyone else."_

_And when he tried to kiss me again, I let him, discovering that my determination to stay angry was a waste when it came to Beck Oliver. He wrapped his arms around my waist, and I tangled my fingers in his lovely hair. His tongue was suddenly begging for entrance, and I parted my lips, allowing it. An effortless battle, altogether, today had been, so I gave his tongue the dominance, and it proceeded to explore my mouth._

_As we broke apart for a breath, he leaned his forehead into mine. "I love you. I always will."_

_"I love you, too." I breathed, back, defeated, to the point that a sarcastic comment or complaint didn't even feel right._

_"I mean it, babe." he said, beginning to kiss me again. "Always, have, always, will." he muttered, between pecks._

_"I won't leave you." he promised, tightening his grip around me._

_And I meant it when I said I knew. Because I did._

It was 11:52 P.M. when I pulled up. I hadn't bothered to call, but I knew that Beck would still be awake. My only concern was the matter of him being home. When I had left him, I left him at Vega's, after all. But, to my relief, the lights of the R.V. were evident.

I was never one to knock. Or be nervous, really. But I did knock. And I was sure as hell nervous. We had broken up before, me and Beck. This wasn't the first time. But this time felt so different. Each time had been unpleasant, had left me with this sick feeling in my stomach and regret for everything defiant word I'd said, wishing I could take it all back, willing to do anyting to get Beck back. Maybe this time felt so strange because we were older, significantly more mature. Or perhaps it was because I was pregnant. But for whatever reason, this time, the break up felt more serious. Permanent.

It didn't take him long to answer the door. And he didn't say anything when he saw me, although his mouth did fall a bit, in a slight gape. It occured to me then that I hadn't bothered to look in the mirror upon leaving my house. I could only imagine the streaks of black makeup that stained my cheeks.

"Can I come in?" I asked, my tone light and somewhat inviting, suddenly not wanting to waste any time.

He gazed at me, taken aback. "Um," he sound nervous and not at all inviting as glanced back to a section of the R.V. that was hidden from me.

"Who's here?" I nearly demanded, my tone darkening, as I became all too aware of what was truly occuring here. I perked my head up, in an attempt to see the mystery female he was attempting to hide from me.

Before Beck could see anything else, I stepped forward and pushed the door open wider, only to see none other than little miss perfect Vega, setting on Beck's bed, her doe eyes wide.

I shook my head in disgust, and took a step back. "Oh, I see what's going on here. What's it been? Three hours, maybe? That we've been broken up?" I spat, almost laughing at the irony of the situation.

Beck shook his head, back at me. "Jade, it's not what it looks like."

I continued to take steps back, and with each one, he took another towards me.

"I think it's exactly what it looks like!" I felt so betrayed. What the hell was he trying to do to me? Did he ever even care about me at all? Was our relationship really so insignificant to him that merely hours later he was with her.

I knew she had always wanted him. And he knew, on some level, even though I never really admitted it, that I was constantly fearing she would take him away from me.

"Jade, wait! He's right! I just came over to talk. He was-" Her obnoxious, shrill voice was about to send me over the fucking edge.

"Oh, do NOT talk to me, Vega! And don't make up some bullshit excuse for him, because I do NOT want to hear it!" I cut her off.

Beck had me by the wrists now and I realized my palms had involuntarily balled into fists at the pit of my rage. "Jade, please. Calm down. Let me talk to you." He stared deeply into my eyes with those beautiful browns of his, a tactic of his that usually worked on me.

I shook my head, taking another step away from him. But he came with me, latched on tightly to my wrists. I gritted my teeth together, and attempted to hold back my tears, although I could feel them coming. Damn these hormones And damn this boy who triggers them. "So talk," I growled, through clench teeth.

"She just came over to talk. I was upset, as you can imagine."

I glared daggers at him. I wanted to believe him, but I couldn't. Not this time. Why the hell couldn't they talk at Vega's house?! It didn't add up, and I wasn't about to let him play _the_ Jade West as a fool.

"Well, what the hell does it matter anyway? We're broken up." My tone was harsh, and I witnessed him almost flinch at my words. The look of hurt was so evident in his face. I was afraid to even picture what mine must have looked like. But a pretty good idea sprang to mind, as I felt the tears flow down my face, like a waterfall. Dammit.

"Jade," he whispered, and placed his palm on my cheek.

I shut my eyes as he did, and breathed in his scent. "No, Beck, no."

But the only movement he made was to wipe a single tear from my cheek. My eyes flashed open and I angrily snapped his hand away, before retreating the other direction, back to my car and away from him.

I heard him call after me, but I just kept telling myself, _Don't look back, don't look back, don't look back._

And I didn't.

* * *

Please leave me reviews and tell me whether or not you think I should continue this story.

Thanks for reading.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thanks so much for the reviews. It means a lot. Keep it up, please!**

* * *

My vision was blurred as I drove home. I cursed myself for going over to Beck's. How could I be so stupid?

I noted that it was exactly 12:00 A.M. The new day had begun, and I didn't have Beck back. Quite the contrary.

* * *

I slam the door behind me, as I enter my household. There was a significant feeling in my stomach, one I hadn't felt in quite some time, and especially not in the last several months. One of emptiness. It hurt, it ached. I didn't like it one bit.

Mentally, I thanked whatever God there might be that my mother was currently out of the country on business, that I wouldn't have to answer to her or anyone else. I managed to make my way up to my room and crash into my bed, wrapping my large black comforter around me and searching for any hint of Beck smell that may have resided in the fabric. Noting that we (Or I, truly) hardly ever slept over at this house, in this bed, I gave up on my quest for his smell, and felt the tears return to my eyes once more, unsure if they had ever left.

I had a lot of thinking to do, I knew that. I wasn't going to lie here in denial any longer, pretending, hoping that things will be alright. There was a decision that I had to make. The harsh light of day was dawning, ironically at the middle of this horrible October night.

There was a part of me that longed to call him, to say I was sorry and that I may have over-reacted to finding Tori at his R.V., which I didn't think I had, to finally tell him the secret I had been harboring to myself for the last several months, waiting for a moment that seemed like a well enough opportunity to tell him. I wanted more than nothing than to go to him, to show up at his R.V. again. But I couldn't. She was probably still there. Jesus. I didn't want to imagine what they were doing. I was glued to that bed, nailed to that pillow, with permanent tears staining my sheets. I felt so weak, so helpless.

I just wanted to tell Beck I still loved him. I just wanted to tell Beck I was pregnant.

* * *

My alarm sounded loudly throughout my bedroom the next morning. A lifeless arm hit the _Snooze_ button with little resistance, as I muttered a resentful "Dammit," and attempted to roll out my only remaining haven, my bed.I couldn't recall falling asleep the prior night. It must have been etched somewhere between my river of tears and bucket of regrets pouring out. One look in the mirror, and I was ready to retreat back to bed. Red puffy eyes, and mascara smeared down my cheeks, what an attractive new look, I thought sarcastically, with an eye roll at myself. What's one sick day?

But I couldn't stay home "sick." Because they would be all too aware. The group, my teachers, Beck, everyone. Poor little Jade West, breaking up with her boyfriend, too sad to even show up at school. Pity would evade the very air of Hollywood Arts. I couldn't have that, no. THE Jade West did not take mental health days. I would not hide from my classmates. I wouldn't give Beck the satisfaction of knowing that he hurt me.

An uneasy feeling suddenly came over me. My hand moved instinctively over my mouth, as my stomach shifted, inwardly. I dashed to the bathroom and hunched over my toilet bowl. Fuck morning sickness, I thought. Fuck Beck for hurting me. Fuck Beck for probably fucking Tori. At the mere thought, more stomach acid rose to my throat.

I sighed, and rested my head against the cool seat of the toilet, when I was finally done. God, staying home sick wouldn't be such a lie. My stomach settled again after several minutes of shifting between leaning against the toilet, and lying on the bathroom floor. The low temperature felt nice on my overly hot skin. The question popped into my head at that moment, for no significant reason whatsoever. I was well aware I would have to face this decision eventually, but was attempting to avoid it, which was stupid, for a choice was inevitable, and it'd have to be soon. _Should I get an abortion? _

And there it was. A thought I'd been trying so desperately not to think, to avoid. It's not that I wanted one. I didn't know what the hell I wanted. And this break up made it all the more confusing. I had planned to tell Beck. He was going to help me make this decision. Because it mattered to me what he wanted. Maybe more so than it mattered to me what I wanted. So I lay there, on my bathroom floor, and gaze up at the faded white popcorn ceiling. What is it that you want, Jade? What the hell are you going to do?

I rolled over and propped myself up. I was going to go to school, that's what the hell I was going to do.

* * *

Arriving to school just in time before the warning sing-song bell rang, I strode in, attempting to hold my head high, coffee in hand, and habitual grimace on face. Although caffeine was frowned upon for pregnant women, I'd read on various websites that one cup of coffee per day isn't going to hurt anyone. And as I thought back to the many articles I read, ensuring that it was fine I consumed my morning coffee, I realized that I did care for the well-being of this child. Some part of me did. Otherwise, I wouldn't have gone to the trouble. And that meant something. Didn't it?

Throughout the day, everyone, aside from Cat and Andre, with a tinge of Robbie, (although I had presumed it was merely because our lockers were next to one another) had ignored the fact that I even existed. Cat had rushed up to me the moment she saw me that morning, her voice high and worrisome. She'd given me a hug and I let her. Because God knew I needed one. And I wasn't in the mood to fight her off, and be cruel. I just wasn't that morning. Andre had come up to me, as well, later in the day, with a smile and some words of encouragement. He told me I could always talk to him, if I needed to. I somewhat froze him out, not in the mood to talk about anything relating to my feelings. But I knew he meant well. And as Beck's best friend, it meant a lot and must have taken a lot for him to confront me. I forget sometimes that Andre is my friend, too.

But although all this sympathy came from a kind place, it still irritated the hell out of me that they looked down on me with such pity. I didn't need them to tip-toe around my feelings. That just made it worse.

When passing period between classes occurred, Cat would return to my locker and make small chat. I was grateful for that, since I typically spent the five minutes with Beck. I could feel his stare burning into my back from Tori's locker, as I retrieved several books from my own.

I turned slightly, for a quick glance back, seeing Robbie with that puppet of his, Andre, and Beck, all gathered around Tori's locker, while I remained across the hall with Cat to keep me company.

Guess it was time to face facts. Our group would be divided. And there was no use in trying to deny it. Like some bitter divorce, our friends would be forced to choose sides. It was unavoidable.

Cat chose my side, obviously. We had been best friends since the first several weeks of our freshman year at Hollywood Arts. Robbie and Andre may be a bit shared custody between Beck and I. And Beck could have the slut and the damn puppet.

* * *

I couldn't fathom that I wasn't waking up in his arms. It was almost unreal. It felt so foreign, and just utterly wrong. I kept rolling over or reaching for him, throughout the nights, only to find my unsatisfied palm full of sheet, rather than Beck. I kept angrily breathing his name, as my alarm screeched me awake, expecting hm to pound the _snooze_ for me. And then I would remember. And hit the button with more force and frustration than I typically would. I kept thinking this was just some nightmare I would eventually wake up from. But it wasn't. And I wouldn't.

* * *

Beck hadn't tried to talk to me at school. I don't really know what I was expecting. It's not that I truly minded. I didn't want anymore petty excuses. At least I convinced myself I didn't.

We avoided each other in shared classes. We sat at separate lunch tables in the Asphalt Cafe, Cat and I breaking off from the group and Robbie and Andre alternating joining us. I drove each day, and got my morning coffee alone. And so it became our little cycle, to act like strangers. It was difficult, admittedly, to pretend you didn't know someone you had such a history with, tp suddenly not speak to someone you had spoken to everyday for the last three years of your life. I wished that it would change. But it was what Beck wanted. So who the hell was I to get in the way?

* * *

I'd returned to my room after a shower one night, and as I dropped my towel and proceeded to change into comfortable clothes, my image in the mirror caught my eye, specifically my lower abdomen region. I could see just a slight distinction of a bump. My eyes widened, and my mouth went dry. I placed a tentative hand over the protrusion in my skin, and felt it, cautiously. It didn't seem possible that I was already showing.

According to the first and only doctor I had seen, when I first found out I was pregnant, I was already around two months along. But that was nearly two months ago... My mouth fell open, in a gape, as I continued to prod my stomach. Had I truly avoided my pregnancy like this? What was I, hoping if I ignored it, it would just go away? I stared at myself in the mirror, with almost a hint of disgust in my eyes.

It was high time I faced reality.

The next morning, I made an appointment to see an OBGYN in the area. I waited in the doctor's office, uneasily. I took a seat by the far wall, hoping to avoid any contact with small children or mom's-to-be. Impatiently, I tapped my foot and shifted in my seat, awaiting my name to be called. I still didn't obtain the slightest clue on what I wanted to do. If I wanted to tell Beck, or simply have an abortion. I supposed there was adoption to contemplate, as well. Any option that required me to go full term on this pregnancy, also required me to tell Beck. Or I could simply wait until I grew to the size of a small air balloon, and hoped he put two and two together.

"Jade West," I jumped at the sound of my name. With a gulp, I stood up and walked over to follow the nauseatingly perky nurse to the exam room.

* * *

**I promise there will be a lot more Bade in the next chapter. Keep reviewing, guys!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Thanks for all the reviews, guys. Please keep it up. (: **

* * *

There was a party we attended about two years ago. The host, a girl who graduated a year ago, named Lauren Shaver, was a junior at the time. As the only sophomores on the guest list, to say we felt obligated to go was a bit of an understatement, to keep our reputations in tact, or something of that nature. It all seemed so trivial now.

Andre, the only one of our group, who both obtained the capability to drive and owned a car, offered to drive us to Lauren's. So we all piled into his shitty red, little car and were off to the party.

Not an hour into the festivities, and Beck was completely sloshed. I think he may have been trying to impress all of the upperclassmen, in all actuality. At only fifteen, he hadn't had much experience with alcohol quite yet. None of us had. Not truly. It was our first legitimate high school party, complete with the various clichés. Beck had never been concerned with going out of his way to impress others. Making this realization somewhat shocked me. I swear, to him, I'm equivalent to an open book. But he remains to be ever a mystery in my eyes.

I had immediately decided to slow it down on my liquor intake when I noticed Beck's heightening lack of sobriety. I knew for a fact that Andre and Cat had at least experimented with alcohol before, but I obtained my doubts concerning Robbie, judging by his tentative lips and disgusted expression as he tipped back his first shot. Gotta give the kid some props, though, reminiscing the night. Vodka isn't always kind to its consumers. Go Shapiro, I remember thinking, as he downed his second shot without gagging.

Having been somewhat nervous to be attending a junior and senior party with him accompanying us, I could honestly admit I was impressed with the out of character cool composure he was up keeping. I had previously begged Beck to leave him behind, with no avail. As petty as it sounded, I feared he would embarrass us. Perhaps Beck wasn't the only one with irrational concerns towards what these people think.

He kept referring to me, in usage of my full name. He would screech _"Jade West!_" enthusiastically, so much liveliness flowing through his voice. And then he would proceed to find himself hilarious, with that wild hyena laugh forever following his frequent drunken outbursts.

_"Take a shot, Jade West!"_

_"You're drunk, Jade West!"_

_"Dance with me, Jade West!"_

_"I love you, Jade West!"_

_I assisted my stumbling boyfriend up the staircase of the monstrous house. Perhaps it wasn't completely accurate to refer to this place as a house. A mansion seemed much more fitting. He continued to mutter random one-liners, as I supported the majority of his weight, with a smidge of a struggle to keep him upright. When we finally made our way to the bedroom, I attempted to gently shift his body onto the bed. But he still plopped down, with a dramatized bounced. He beamed an idiotic grin at me, and I couldn't help but smile back in acknowledgment. Even when he succeeded in annoying the hell out of me, he remained adorable in my eyes. His charm was eternally effortless and overpowering, even if deeply intoxicated._

_"My-y pretty, pretty-y-y girlfrienduh," he cooed, in awe, his words slurred, as he propped himself up to perform an odd stroke through my brown hair._

_I smirked downward at him, grasping his hand in my own. "My drunk, drunk, boyfriend." I returned, mimicking his previous tone, as I took a seat on the soft bed, parallel to him._

_"You should lay down," I told him, with a hint of demand detected in my voice. He jabbed a finger at me, awkwardly prodding his finger into my right breast, and uttered, "Maybe YOU should lay down!" before laughing ferociously, and slouching over onto my lap._

_Now I stroked his fluffy hair, as his eyes began to flutter shut at several minute intervals, before snapping back open again, battling his evident exhaustion with all he had. I lay back, and he conformed himself in adaptation to my newfound position, resting his head on my stomach and wrapping his arms around my body. He nuzzled into my form, smiling soundly, as if I had become his makeshift pillow._

_It wasn't until I was almost certain he had drifted off to sleep until he regained my attention. He spoke softly, but they shifted the aroma of the silent environment immediately, practically causing me to jump._

_"Jade. Jade West." he declared sweetly and not at all as obnoxious as before, rubbing absent minded circles into my bare arm, the back of his eyelids visible. "Do you e-ever think about ussss?"_

_"What about us?" I asked, sighing and shutting my eyes for a moment. Taking care of Beck was becoming tedious, and extremely exhausting._

_I gradually re-open my eyes, as I feel him lightly tugging at the hem of my shirt, and pulling it upward in small increments. He then proceeds to lazily drop his skull back down, his cheek settling on my exposed stomach. "Some..ti-imes. I think about ussss having babiesss."_

_He gazes back up at me, with a childish grin and I narrow my eyes at him, shocked at the comment that had just escaped his mouth. Beck redirects his smile at my stomach and traces lines on my skin. "I thi-i-ink about you having my babiesss, Jade West! Lots of babies, lots of babies. An-And they would ha-ave green eyes, ju-u-ust, just like yours! And ta-a-an skin, like meeee! A-and my fluffy hair, too! Lots of babies. And they'd all be so bea-u-u-u-tiful and so lo-o-o-ved." and then he laughed, and leaned down to plant a kiss on my flesh. His hot breath and lips against my bare skin never ceased to drive me wild, no matter what pointless drunk drabble he was spewing._

_But I had to adm__it, I was taken aback by the random profession of wishing for an abundance of children with me. We'd never discussed any of this prior to tonight, for we were merely fifteen. Part of me wished to simply disregard it as drunk rambling, which it was somewhat was, but then I recalled some quote I had heard. Drunk mind, sober thoughts. The quote implying that you say what you truly mean when you're intoxicated._

_I eyed my boyfriend carefully. "Do you really mean that, Beck?" I asked after several minutes have passed, awaiting his hyperness to detract slightly._

_He peered up at me once more with a toothy grin. "Yeah," he said, "I-I, daydream about it. I..I know that it's faa-ar awa-ay from now. Buuut I wa-a-ant it. I do." And a fraction of me believed his words, allowing myself to fantasize what it would be like, if only for a moment. I felt a smile spread across my face, as I realized I wanted it, too. Someday, I wanted to have that boy's babies, I thought as I watched him peacefully drift off to sleep._

* * *

I'll never forget what he said to me tha night, even if he never remembers.

It was the single, most in depth conversation we'd shared, regarding the subject. And I withheld strong doubts he was even able to recall the event. I had always been too nervous to bring up what he'd confessed to me that night again, although some part of me always wanted to.

I had known Beck wanted kids. He adored them. But it would be foolish of me to think merely because he desired children, that he would wish to have them with me. I wasn't precisely the type of girl that boys like him longed to bring children into this world with. I was abrasive and spoke my mind. I was dark and blunt with not only my phrases, but actions, as well. As much as I loathed to accept it, it was Tori 'little miss fucking perfect' Vega that fit the criteria. She was blissfully ignorant, kind, even. She was soft spoken and radiated a nauseating amount of brightness.

Who the hell was I kidding? Beck would never want this baby. Perhaps, his rejection wouldn't even solely be based on the facts that we're only seventeen and remain in high school, but because he couldn't fathom, nor endure being forever linked to me through a child.

I lifted the black and white photograph into the light, in an attempt to view a clearer picture of it. I'd carried it everywhere I traveled the last several days, and experience slight comfort holding it out in the open, within the confines of my bedroom. Squinting at the image, I pondered how in the hell I was staring at my baby. The sonograms picture that the ultrasound technician had printed out for me was extremely blurry, but I clenched it to my chest, regardless. Strange that this was the first photo of my baby.

_My baby._ Jesus, I'm lying to myself in so many forms if I'm still attempting to think that there isn't a portion of myself that didn't long to keep this child, that didn't already love this baby. _My baby._

I had to tell someone. If not to get receive advice from them, then just for the mere reason to freaking say it out loud to someone who isn't employed in the medical field. But sadly, I can't find it within myself to muster up the courage to confess it to Beck quite yet. I contemplated for about half a second to tell one of the other members of our quaint little group, but the only one who I'd remotely trust enough would be Cat. And I don't think I can place the burden of keeping this secret on her shoulders. She'd already sacrificed quite a bit to remain a faithful friend to me through out this break up. I often forget that Beck had been her friend, too. And she'd hardly muttered two words to him in the last several weeks.

My next seemingly brilliant idea was to tell my mother, who should be flying in within the next several days, returning from one of her many, frequent out of the country business trips. But with only several seconds of imagining how this scenario would occur, I quickly disregarded it. Of course, the first action she would take would be to tell my father, who already believed I was ruining my life by choosing a career path that didn't involve me setting in an office, working the 9 to 5. And he would rant and rave about how disappointed I was, and how irresponsible could I be and whatnot. My mother would step back in then, and dramatize the whole endeavor, somehow reverting the situation to be about her. This, is another situation I wasn't fully ready to deal with.

I felt so trapped.

The following day, in fourth period, Sikowitz's, one of our joint classes, our eccentric (to put it mildly) teacher was standing before the class in his always ridiculous attire, raving on about some bad coconut milk he'd consumed the prior weekend. I felt my eyes glaze over and proceeded to tune him out, after he had begun to describe vivid colors and insane hallucinations. Sounded like some variety of a highly unpleasant trip to me.

I suddenly felt a significant, uncomfortable thrashing within my stomach. I attempted to ignore it and took a sip from my water bottle. But suddenly, Sikowitz's voice began to fade more so into the background, my vision became cloudy and I felt a distressing amount of moisture gathering within my mouth. Oh God, no. Not here. Not now. I dashed out of the classroom and made a beeline for the nearest bathroom, stumbling to the toilet just in time.

Not two minutes later, Cat and Tori were entering the bathroom. Sikowitz most likely sent them to check on me. Oh, Jesus. Why was Vega here? Cat, I could handle, maybe even convince her that I simply had something displeasing for breakfast...or...something. But Tori, sadly, wasn't nearly as stupid as she appeared.

I had, subconsciously, been clutching my stomach, which had been growing to be much more evident. I wiped my mouth with my other, unoccupied hand, and gazed up at the girls, wiping away several tears from my eyes and beads of sweat on my forehead that almost always gathered as an aftermath of throwing up.

"Are you okay?!" Cat asked me, in her sing-song voice, that bounced off the walls of the bathroom and echoed unpleasantly.

I nodded, and eyed them, Tori specifically. Why did I feel so suspicious. People throw up all the time. It's...somewhat normal. Stop being so damn paranoid, Jade. They don't know one thing, or so I attempted to convince myself.

"Are you sick?" Tori questioned, somewhat hesitantly.

I bit down on my lip, and shrugged, "I might be." I said, grasping onto the toilet seat for stability to stand up, and clutched the wall of the bathroom stall to keep my balance.

"Oh, Jadey." Cat sighed. "You got a little bit of throw up on your jacket," The redhead rushed over to me and attempted to assist me in taking it off. She had it half way up my torso before I shouted at her enough to get her to cease her movements. But the damage was done. Tori's eyes immediately lit up as she spotted my bump.

"You're..." her voice trailed off, as she examined me once more, her eyes seeming to grow larger and larger. I narrowed my eyes at her, as a warning.

"You're what?! Tori, what's going on?" When Tori said nothing, only had her mouth agape, with a dumbfounded expression on her face. My ever clueless best friend turned back to me. "Jade?"

I sighed, and bit down on my lip once more, rougher this time. I pulled the sweatshirt over my head, fully, partly because the smell of the remaining stomach bile was beginning to make me nauseous all over again. "I'm pregnant." I admitted in a soft tone, presenting my small, yet evident, bump as proof.

Both of the girls gawked at me in disbelief, each wearing that stupid look now, as they proceeded to link it all together.

Before either had a chance to say anything, I started, fiercely, "And neither of you will tell Beck, or make a big deal out of this at all. And Tori, go get me a new jacket from your locker," I ordered.

A crease appeared between her eyebrows, but she quickly composed her expression and nodded, disappearing without another word, thank the Lord.

Cat had backed away from me, slightly She wore a somewhat frightened expression. "Oh, Jadey." she whined, her tone writhing of sympathy more than anything else. "You have to tell Beck," she whispered, averting her gaze from me.

"I don't _have_ to do anything!" I retorted. "It's my body, and my baby."

Tori walked back in then, with a disgustingly colored pink sweatshirt. She gently handed it to me and frowned. "So Beck doesn't know?" she asked.

I sighed and pulled the sweatshirt over my head. It fit snugly, but still was enough to cover my bump. "No." I rolled my eyes at her, as if I hadn't made that clear already.

"I really think you should tell him," she sai quietly, studying her shoes.

"I guess it's a good thing I don't are what you think." I stepped over to the sink and proceeded to wash out my mouth with some water, before examining my reflection in the mirror.

"Jade, come on!" Cat wailed, her tone one of the most serious I've ever heard from her mouth. "You have to! He's the father."

"I don't want him to pity me, okay?!" I snapped at her, without glancing away from the mirror. "I don't want him to be guilted into caring about me or getting back together with me, or anything, okay?!" I continued to smooth down my hair, and smudge any stray or smeared makeup away.

Tori looked at me like I was one of those abused animals in those ASPCA commercials with a tilt of her head, and I involuntarily rolled my eyes. Cat's eyes grew two sizes bigger, if that were even possible. Perhaps she was on the verge of tears.

"Look, we're still broken up. A baby doesn't change anything."

"You're wrong, Jade." Tori squeaked. "It changes everything."

I sighed and ignored her comment, with one last glance in the mirror to examine my appearance before turning back to face my best friend and Vega. "Anyone got any gum?"

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	4. Chapter 4

The fourth period bell rang throughout the school, it's sing-song bell radiating through the hallway. I didn't bother to return to class following the bathroom incident, although I promised Cat and Tori that I would, my motives solely to convince them to leave me to my lonesome. I stood at my locker, holding the sonogram photograph within the confines of the metal box, finding myself admiring it once more. It wasn't until the screech of the bell sounding and students quickly dispersing from classrooms, that I panicked and quickly shoved the image into my bag.

I felt a presence on the other side of my locker, and assuming it was Cat, I didn't bother to glance up for evidence. She was the only one who had been greeting me at my locker on a consistent basis, as of late. But as I slammed covered door, an abrupt gasp left my slight parted lips, seeing Beck standing before me.

"I need to talk to you, Jade." his tone stern.

I couldn't help but sigh and self consciously pull down at the borrowed hoodie. "Okay?" I agreed with hesitance, as if it was a question.

He looked me over and I desperately hoped the sweatshirt disguised my stomach as I thought it had. "Why are you wearing Tori's jacket?" he asked, his voice oozing of suspicion.

"I threw up on mine." I retorted, quickly, rolling my eyes in evident annoyance.

He nodded and that was when I felt his gaze burning a hole in the sleeves of my temporary hoodie. I swallowed, nervously, with a slight idea of what this interrogation was truly about.

"Show me your wrists." he demanded, as if on cue.

I rolled my eyes once more. "Beck." I rationed, shooting him a deathly serious expression.

Suddenly, he was taking action, grasping my wrists, too tight, and tugging the sleeve up, only to reveal fleshy past scars. I huffed, and raised an eyebrow at him, as if to question if he was satisfied by my somewhat clean wrist. Beck was at his most tense and aggressive when he believed I was hurting myself. Otherwise, he was such a laid back guy. It was almost surreal to witness him acting so uptight. As I watched him exhale a sigh that seemed to be of relief, I absent mindedly wondered why he cared.

He released my arm, unapologetically. I shook it lightly, in attempt to get the blood flow to return to my wrists, in result of his harsh grip, all while shooting him a hostile glare. "What is it then? What's going on?" he questioned, meeting my eyes.

"What do you mean?" I snapped, suddenly worried Tori or Cat had mentioned something to him.

"Why are you throwing up" he asked, not missing a beat, and quickly recovering from my icy gaze. Because he obtained one of his own, at the moment.

I shrugged and looked him square in the eye, keeping my poker face, refusing to allow him to know something's up, that something is wrong the way he has convinced himself it is. "I don't know.. Must have had something for breakfast that didn't settle right."

Beck narrowed his dark brown eyes at me. "What'd you have for breakfast?" Jesus, he was relentless.

"Eggs. Maybe I cooked them wrong. Or...something."

Beck frowned, clearly not satisfied with my answers.

After a moment of silence, he looked at me with pleading eyes, no sternness, or friendliness, just desperation. A hint of me felt guilty for keeping this from him. Even if I wasn't prepared to forgive him, to not be angry with him for hurting me, for abandoning me outside that damn door, for possibly fucking Vega not three hours into our break up, but he was the father. He deserved to be aware of the existence of his child. Didn't he?

"Something's off, Jade. You're acting...different." And there was something else in his eyes...pity, for me. Which managed to sufficentially piss me off.

I squinted at him. If he wanted to feel bad for me, I was going to make him feel _bad_. "Did it ever occur to you that perhaps I was acting strange because we broke up?!" I retorted, my tone harsher than I had originally intended.

Smart move, Jade. You just blew your first and only opening to tell Beck about the baby.

But the truth is, I was absolutely terrified to tell him. The_ fearless Jade West was terrified._ I mentally scoffed at myself.

And then I snapped back to reality and watched the guilt watch over Beck's face. There was this prominent sadness in his eyes, and it bothered me more than I would like to admit. _You're supposed to hate him_, I reminded myself.

"I'm...I'm sorry," Beck stammered, clearly remaining stunned by my statement. "That makes sense," He ran a hand through his hair in that way that he often does, especially when his nerves begin to get the better of him. Remembrance of how cute I'd always found that habit trailed through my head.

Then I averted my eyes to the ground. My nervous habit. Normally, he would place a hand on my chin, and gently tip it up so that I could look into his eyes when he reminded me that I didn't have to pretend with him. From the corner of my eye, I noticed him extend his hand, possibly instinctively, but he quickly allowed it to drop back to his side. This situation was certainly not normal.

Lunch was scheduled after fourth period, as I suddenly noticed that the hallway was beginning to empty. But Beck seemed in no hurry to go. I leaned against my locker, and let out a sigh as the silence grew uncomfortable.

"Jade, you can talk to me. I know that we broke up, but that doesn't mean I'm not your friend. You can still talk to me." I scoffed at the word "friend." Beck and I were never friends. I didn't know if I wanted to be his friend. I didn't know if I wanted to be his anything. Why was this so fucking hard? "Jade." he repeated, when I refused to answer.

"What?!" I snapped, looking up at him, finally, not realizing tears had begun to develop into my eyes as I did. We earned the glares of several bystanders.

Beck knew I didn't cry. Not unless something was truly wrong. And even then, I could typically fight the tears until I found myself in a private environment. He gazed at me, taken aback, with concern on his face. "Please, Jade. Please talk to me."

I just shook my head, and several tears fall. "No. Not here. Not now." I said, gazing at several students who had their eyes locked on us, with obvious curiosity.

And before I knew it, his hand closed around my wrist again, but this time he tugged my whole body, and pulled me in the direction of the janitor's closet.

"Beck! What the hell?!" I protested, attempting to tear myself away. But his grip was strong, and determined. He pulled me into the closet, and shut the door behind him. I sighed, and sat cross-legged on the floor.

To my surprise, he sat parallel to me. "Are you hurting yourself? And please, if you are, just tell me. I won't be mad."

I kept my eyes on his and shook my head. And it was the truth. I hadn't hurt myself in any way since the day I'd discovered my pregnancy. It felt wrong after that, to even contemplate it. Because I wasn't merely hurting myself anymore. I was harming someone else. I suppose Beck would always tell me whenever I had a relapse that I was hurting him, as well. But for some reason, that was never enough to get me to halt my actions. It should have been, but it wasn't.

"Then what _the hell _is going on?" Beck pleaded.

I bit my lip, but forced myself to look at him. "I..I want to tell you." I choked out. And I realized I truly did. Although I was still angry at him, I couldn't keep something like this from his knowledge out of spite. I just couldn't.

"So tell me."

My lips began to part, but no words left them. Physically, it seemed impossible to produce the words 'I'm pregnant.' So I sat across from him, stuttering inaudible sounds at a loss for words. God, I thought. When the hell was I at a loss for words? I ask myself, dwelling on my out of character behavior. After several awkward moments of sitting in utter silence, minus my splutter of incoherent one syllable replies, an idea sprung to mind. I yanked my bag from behind me and dug through it for a moment.

"What..." I heard Beck say quietly, obviously puzzle by my sudden flow of action. But I silenced him as I leaned forward, finally retrieving what I was searching for. I extended my hand and placed a photograph in his open and ready palm. He squinted at it, a crease appearing between his dark eyebrows. I watched his eyes, as he made the connection, as he noticed the black printed, "West, Jade" at the bottom right of the image. I had handed him my sonogram.

He began to trace the outline of the figure displayed in the photograph, ever so gently. "We're going to have a baby," he whispered, before looking up again, with a brightness in his eyes, as they stared at my hidden stomach.

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	5. Chapter 5

_"We're going to have a baby." _

My eyes, and his, widened simultaneously, at his comment. He stammered around his words, as if he'd said something wrong, fumbling with each syllable, to catch himself. "I mean...you're ahm-uh, you're pregnant?" he clarified, running a hand through his hair, absent mindedly. I nodded, my eyes still sufficiently wide, in shock.

Had he truly just refered to him and I as a "we", and implied that said "we" were going to have a baby, as if he wished for me to conclude the pregnancy. As if he wished to be present in this child's life, to be its father. I swallowed hard. This was not the reaction I was expecting. I truly do not know what reaction I was expecting. But it certainly wasn't this. Did I detect a hint of happiness in his small voice? No, it couldn't have been. I narrowed my eyes at him, then, and his eyebrow arose like a question mark.

"How far along are you?" He broke the silence, and part of me was glad he began with such a matter-of-fact question, one I knew the answer to.

"I'm about 17 weeks. So, 4 months." I told him, mentally counting to reassure myself.

There was evident shock on his face, and he stared down at my bump once more, his eyes lingering on my stomach. I wondered if the protrusion in my abdominal area became more obvious once you discovered it existed. Self consciously, I placed a protective hand over where my flat stomach once was.

"Does anyone else know?" He questioned, after a moment.

I shifted my eyes and studied a broom, leaning against the wall in the far corner of the closet. _Uh oh_, I thought, realizing how awkward it was going to be to have to explain to him that Cat and _Tori Vega _had known before he had. I felt a tinge of guilt for admitting my secret to them. I should have produced a better lie. Although, in the position I had been put in, it was most likely impossible to convince them I wasn't pregnant, I could have tried. I should have tried. Part of me remained to regret telling Beck.

I bit my lip, and redirected my gaze towards Beck. Still sitting parallel to me, his hair a tousled mess, his eyes somewhat troubled. A frown involuntarily spread across my face, as I murmured, "Cat and Tori, sort of, found out."

A crease appeared between Beck's eyebrows. "Cat and Tori?! What do you mean 'sort of' And when?!"

"Last period, when Sikowitz sent them to go check on me."

He nodded. "So when the hell were you planning on telling me?" He demanded,

"Soon," I countered softly, hoping that if I seemed reasonable, he wouldn't be so quick to be angry.

"Oh right, Jade!" he started, his voice raising several octaves. "I'm sure you were going to!" He was yelling now, and his voice dripped with evident sarcasm. I felt anger boiling within me.

"Who the _hell _are you to yell at me for this, Beck?! You're the one who hurt me! Or have you forgotten about that already? You seem to be good at that. Three hours into our break up, and it was 'Jade who?!'" I seethed, gritting my teeth, as I leaned forward slightly from my position, in a threatening manner.

But Beck just shook his head in utter irritation, and buried his face in his palms for a moment. He let out a sigh, and briefly rubbed his eyes, before looking back up at me. "Jade. Just tell me this," he pleaded, his voice soft again. "Would you have told me if I hadn't confronted you in the hall?"

I swallowed, and thought for a moment. I truly didn't know. Would I ever had mustered up enough courage to approach him, and tell him? Probably not. "I don't know.." I choked out, frowning. "I was scared, Beck."

"But why, Jade?" he asked, rotating closer to me. He arose to his knees and kneeled before me. His hand elevated, as if he were going to touch me, but he allowed it to float mid-air, and looked into my eyes. "We told each other everything. We know everything about each other." He took a deep breath, and stroked my cheek, gently. "You've never had to pretend with me."

I scooted away from his touch, swatting his hand away. "I know." I muttered, and looked down, shame evident on my face. I had wanted to tell him so badly when we were still together. But we were constantly fighting, typically because I was so distant. And the only reason that I drew away was because of my fear. I was terrified Beck would be angry, or break up with me...or something. It seemed so frivolous now. And I detected just a hint of irony within the situation. I didn't wish to tell him because of the fear I withheld that he would be angry. And here he was, angry with me, because I hadn't told him.

He sighed once more. "We need to talk." he lamented, and I nodded in agreement.

With a long suppressed groan, I admitted, "I need to cut something up first." and knowing I didn't mean myself, Beck wheeled the janitor's trash can over to me.

* * *

After I'd succeeded in demolishing the janitor's trash can, and Beck watching in silence, I believe with secret amusement, he asked me, "Do you want to get out of here?" and I'd told him "Yes." with much enthusiasm.

So we excited the school and made our way to his pick-up truck, where I took a seat in the passenger's seat, and he in the drivers. Beck didn't ask me where I wanted to go. He merely drove. And I didn't protest. Through out the car ride, I found my hands nonchalantly resting on my stomach. Beck eyed the interaction, as he drove, with attempted slyness, though I caught him. I didn't protest this, either, but silently found it interesting. He seemed so preoccupied with the bump and, perhaps, even the person growing within it. Is it possible he could wish to keep this child? The thought continued to sprawl to mind, and I attempted to silence it, not desiring to get my hopes up.

Not much to my surprise, we arrived at Jet Brew, Beck and I's joint select choice of favorite place to get coffee in the Los Angeles area. We went in and he escorted me to a table, before leaving to go order. Several minutes later, he returned with two cups. We had yet to speak a word to one another since the departure from the school. I eagerly took a sip of the hot liquid, and almost cringed. Much to my dismay, it was decaffeinated.

I shot Beck a glare, and when he raised an eyebrow, I arose the cup as an answer to the unspoken question. "Decaf, really?" I spat.

I witnessed the tips of his lips twitch, but he didn't allow the smile, and merely shrugged. "Pregnant women aren't supposed to have caffeine, correct?" I couldn't help but roll my eyes.

"Mmm, not necessarily. But even my doctor told me one cup a day won't hurt anyone." I replied.

And Beck smiled this time. "Knowing Jade West, I'm sure you've had at _least_ one cup today."

I simply smirked in reply. Of course, he was right. But I wasn't about to give him the satisfaction of knowing so. After a beat, he spoke again. "So. You've been to the doctor then?"

"Nope. Just pulled that sonogram out of my ass," I replied, sarcastically, earning an eye roll from Beck, before answering "Yes."

He ran several fingers through his hair, and bit his lip. "And everything was okay? What did the doctor say? It's...the baby's...healthy?" he asked, hesitantly.

And I nodded, stifling a smart-ass comment, before saying "Yes," once more, and then adding, "She said, though, that if I'm planning to..." I stumbled over my words, for a moment, not wishing to use the A- word. "..to TERMINATE the pregnancy, that state of California suggests that I do it before 24 weeks, so I would still.." I paused, and swallowed, realizing this was harder to discuss than I had thought. "have a few weeks... to think."

Beck was still gnawing on his lips, watching me with an intense gaze. "What do you want to do, Jade?"

I, idly, took a swig of my shitty decaf coffee, finding that although it truly did nothing for me, the warmth of the liquid remained comforting. I pressed my lips together, following the sip, and pondered for a moment. "Beck, I know we're broken up," I started, "and what happens with this baby doesn't have to change that. But you are the father, regardless. And.." I bit my lip, the last part growing difficult, especially for me. "I..value your opinion," I murmured, only loud enough for him to hear.

He sat for a moment, and considered what I'd said, before resting his eyebrows on the table, and leaning towards me. "I don't think I want an abortion. I don't know what you want, specifically, but I just don't think it's our best option. We knew there was always a possibility that you could get pregnant. And I, for one, would like for us to deal with it like adults."

I exhaled a large sigh of relief. Although I still hadn't decided on a definite answer of what it was I truly wanted for this baby, I think some part of me had always known it wasn't abortion.

Something inside instantly awakened and I took note of Beck's miniature speech, how much he refered to me and him, as a "we", and "us," yet again today. But I kept a cool composure, and simply nodded at him. "I guess that leaves adoption.. or.." my voice trailed off, almost unsure of how to phrase it.

"Keeping it," he finished it, assisting me, that same twinkle returning to his eyes.

"Yeah...that." I added, as he took a sip of his coffee. I couldn't help but feel a tinge of jealousy for his non-decaf beverage.

He pressed his lips together and examined me for a moment, before piping up, "Do you want to keep the baby, Jade?"

Here's where the hard questions began. I exhaled, and averted my gaze. _Of course I do._ Why was that so hard to say? Almost every woman has that ache for children, those maternal instincts that you can't turn off. It's nothing to be ashamed of. Well, perhaps if you're seventeen and recently broken up with your boyfriend. Maybe then.

"Jade," he breathed, when I didn't reply, and I looked up to see his hand on my mine. I hadn't even felt it there. This time, I didn't tear mine away from his. I allowed his touch and stared into his eyes. "I would help you. I want this baby." And simply, a surge of relief washed over me. For some reason, that was all I needed.

I had always been such a strong-willed girl, with strong opinions and a big mouth. Why did I need my _ex_-boyfriend to admit that he wanted our baby for me to feel right to want it. That seemed so dysfunctional.

But regardless, I couldn't help but smile, and stare dumbfoundedly at him. "I want it, too." I whispered.

My eyes trailed back down to our hands, his on mine, gently beginning to rub small circles into mine, with a wide spread grin on his face. And I instantly tore my hand out from underneath his, causing his smile to fade.

"But you'll help me?" I clarified, my tone, not as gentle this time. "I need the baby's dad to be present. I can't do this all by myself." I was suddenly all business.

He nodded, a tinge of the happiness returning to his facial expression. "Jade, of course I'll help you. We're in this together."

* * *

It was nearly five o'clock by the time I returned to my house. I was surprised to find my mother's car in our drive way. It must have slipped my mind that she would be flying in today. I entered the large house, calling a "Hello!" as I slammed the door behind me.

There was no reply, so I wandered to my mother's office, to find her in there, already back to work, phone balanced between shoulder, and neck, and writing something down.

"Hi," I whispered, hoping to distract her just a bit. I hadn't seen her in almost a month.

She looked up and hardly acknowledged my presence. A small smile, and half-hearted wave, then gesture to her phone call and to leave her alone.

I took the hint and immediately retreated to my room. I couldn't help but allow a smile to creep on my face, as I flopped down on my bed, and retrieved my cell phone before typing Cat's number at a vigorous speed.

"Hiiiiii!" Cat wailed into the receiver, and I couldn't even muster up enough anger to chastise her for hollering in my ear.

Instead, I said "Hi," in an upbeat tone. "I told Beck," I told her, wishing to get straight to the point.

"You did?!" my best friend exclaimed from the other end, surprise in her high octave voice.

"Yes," I answered simply, stifling yet another smile.

"What'd he say, what'd he say, what'd he say?!" she pleaded, her excitement growing more intense by the moment. I couldn't help myself but to laugh at her slightly.

I paused for a moment, and placed my palm on the little bump, and rub it, lovingly. "We're going to keep the baby," I admitted, in the softest tone I'd ever heard escape my mouth. "You're gonna be an aunt, Cat."

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	6. Chapter 6

**Hi, just wanted to answer jhenybadefan's question real fast: Yes, it will be revealed what truly happened that night in the R.V. in later chapters!**

**Thanks for all the nice reviews and support, guys.**

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Next Friday night, I received a text message from Cat reading-"Hey Jadey! We're all going to Tori's tonight. You should come! Please! I'm gonna bring Henry the giraffe!"

I rolled my eyes, out of habit. Although I knew this was my best friend attempting to be nice and assist me at getting out of this hell hole of a house, did it truly have to be Tori's that we went to? Granted, she probably had the most normal home life, minus Trina, but still. Why in the hell would I ever want to go over there? Beck used to have to force me to go when we were together. But not anymore. It wouldn't result in much else than me eventually murdering both of the Vega sisters and I do not look lovely in orange, as prove from the last occurence we were all thrown in jail, in that dreaded country Yerba.

Cat was merely attempting to be a good friend. And she was. I'd confided in her and told her what had ben occurring at my home lately.

Last week, it had been my bright idea to set my parents down and confess the news of my pregnancy. I had made this decision based on the fact that I was growing larger each day, and since Beck and I had decided to keep the child, it wasn't as if this was going to go away. I had to tell them, inevitably, and my dumb ass chose sooner, rather than later. Beck had asked if I wanted him there, but I turned him down, and chose to do it solo, rather than in the company of my ex boyfriend, who knocked me up. (I'm sure my parents would have appreciated that)

The opinion of Beck had always been indifferent. Their opinions of me had never been the most flattering. I think, although, they never had shown much interest in my relationship with Beck, or Beck himself, that he was their favorite part about me. Made sense. Once upon a time, he was my very favorite part about myself. I groaned aloud at the cheesy thought.

In fact, my mother's exact words, upon telling her Beck and I broke up, were "Aww sweetie," as she took me into a hug before pulling me away and shooting me a cold glance. "How did you manage to screw that one up?!"

And this situation didn't go much different with my mother. I had called my father ahead of time, knowing upon finding out, she would have to anyway.

_My divorced parents sat on opposite sides of the couch in our retired family foyer, eyeing each other carefully. I stood before them, as my father asked what this was all about, in his oh so formal voice. I bit down on my lip hard. I wasn't necessarily scared of my parents. But their constant disapproval haunted me. **Lookie here, the girl who doesn't give a fuck what anyone thinks wants to make her Mommy and Daddy proud**, a snide voice creeped into my head and taunted me. But I disregarded it. Because yeah, it would be freakin' swell to not forever be disappointing everyone in my life. I sighed, and realized it was much to late for that, considering in a little less than five months, I was expecting a baby of my own._

_I took one last deep breath, before I plunged in, and said, for the first time in a voice that wasn't a slight murmur, "I'm pregnant."_

_My mother practically fainted. She dramatically fell back on the couch and threw her palm over her face, in despair. This display was somewhat comical, actually. But my father and I meekly rolled our eyes. This dramatization was an everyday occurence with my mother. I saw the look in my father's eyes, then, when they were done rolling from irritation of my mother's ranting, and incoherent wailing rambles, for "how could you be so stupid?" and "after all this money we put towards your education," "oh god, oh god, oh god. No." and my personal favorite, "I'm too young to be a grandmother.", there was a glint of what appeared to be moisture lurking in his usually dark and emotionless eyes._

_He wiped away each tear the millisecond the exited his eyes, attempting very well to hide the fact that he had began to cry. This was worse than my mother's sobs and wails, somehow, his silent crying. It pained my heart. I felt tears prickle my eyes, but shook them away and attempted to comfort my mother._

My mom spent the next couple of days cooped up in her room, in bed. She even went as far to beg my father to stay with us for a duration of several days. My mother had always been a tad on the selfish side, but it was truly shocking to me that she was choosing her teenage daughter's pregnancy as the prime timing to host an episode of some sort of midlife crisis. Hell, every other day for her was some sort of crisis. Several days later, she left her bed, showered (thank the Lord) and announced she must go back to work, and then proceeded to exit the household without another word.

_"Well," my father allowed a sigh of relief after my mother fled the house. "now that we finally have a silent moment, let's talk about what you want to do with the baby."_

_He eyed my revealed stomach, as I stood, sipping my morning coffee with a mere tank top on. I didn't reply right away, but instead buring my face within the confines of my coffee cup, taking several large gulps._

_"Have you considered an abortion?" I nearly choked on my coffee, but managed to compose myself after several spats of coughing and gagging. A crease appeared between his eyes, concerned, but unwilling to take any action towards my obvious choking._

_"I, uh," I tried, after my lungs ceased to burn any longer. "Beck and I decided against it." was all I could manage to say._

_"I see." he nodded, and his frown ceased. "I'd have to tell you, though, adoption can be messy."_

_It was my turn to frown at him. "Roy." My tone grew more serious, and hardened. "Beck and I don't want to give the baby up. We want to keep it."_

_His face wasn't phased by the declaration. He sighed, and redirected his gaze to his paper, while taking a large gulp of his coffee._

_After several minutes, he gazed back up at me. "So I assume you and Beck got back together."_

_"No."I said, my strong tone faltering._

_He squinted at me. "You're not going to get married?"_

_"God, no!" I exclaimed, slightly shocked by his abrupt question. "Look, **Roy**. Beck is going to be involved in the baby's life. But we're not getting back together."_

_He nodded, his lips forming a line. My father attempted to meet my eyes. "Well... I wish you both the best of luck, then." He smiled at me, or some type of contortion of an eery smile, although it didn't touch his eyes._

* * *

I sat in my room, re-reading Cat's text before replying a stern "NO!" letters all capitalized.

"Kk," she replied, with a sad face, not more than a minute later.

I groaned, and tossed my phone against the wall, the sound of my parents yelling echoing from the lower level of my household.

Personalities like my mother and father should not be allowed to coexist within the same zip code, much less be married, and produce two children. I gazed down at the bump beneath mt black t-shirt and began to rub circles on it. "I'll never be like them," I whispered. "I'll never treat you like they treat me." Although I was 99.9% sure my baby couldn't hear me, I promised regardless. To him or her, and also, to myself.

Several hours later on the Friday evening, the screaming began to ease and my mother stormed into my bedroom.

"What the hell?!" I demanded, gazing up from the one act play I was typing on my laptop.

"Get up," she ordered, her tone icy.

My father lurked in my doorway,a concerned expression residing on his typically emotionless face. "Jenny." he sighed my mother's name out.

"No!" She spun around and waved her finger at him. "_You_ stay out of this, Roy! This is _my_ daughter. Just like Alexander is _your_ son." she turned back to me. "Now _get up_."

I gazed up at her, with unamused eyes. My mother's mood swings didn't phase me much anymore. I was all but too used to them and their ridiculousness. "Why exactly?" I questioned, my voice dragging on, annoyed.

She grasped onto my wrist and I quickly shook it away, as she attempted to dig her nails into my flesh. "What the fuck is going on?" I growled. She'd hit me before, when I was very young. After of which, my father pleaded she get help. But she always refused. And they would get in large disputes about, and my younger brother, Alexander would sneak into my room at night. We'd hold each other, and cry ourselves to sleep as we attempted to drown out the constant screaming.

The summer after my father had moved out, when I was thirteen, several months before I met Beck, my mother dabbled in hitting me again. But this time I wa fed up with her shit. And I hit back. She punched me in the gut, after which, she proceeded to beat me. I told my father when I went to stay at his house the following weekend. My mother ended up going to jail, and was forced treatment for her 'condition.' The doctor prescribed her with pills to assist her continual mood swings and impulsive triggering to become violent or even suicidal, at times. It was mandatory she take them, since. But we were lucky when she rarely did. Instead, my father and I watched as she drowned herself in her work and attempted not to set her off the deep end. Apparently, my current news had done just that.

"I'm sick of your games, Jade. I'm taking you to get rid of this thing, once and for all." I saw dead set determination in her eyes, and gasped as I realized what she'd meant.

"No!" I shouted, crawling to the other side of my queen sized bed to distance myself from her.

My mother rolled her eyes at me. "Stop being such a child, Jade." She spat my name, with a hint of disgust in her voice. "We bot know you aren't responsible enough for this."

I narrowed my eyes at her. "I'm not about to take parenting advice from you. Either of you!"

My mother's face contorted into an odd expression, not one of hurt, or anger even. Then she burst out in a fit of laughter."That's my point, darling." Her tone was wildly sadistic, and her green eyes that matched mine grew dark. "You're going to be_ just. Like. Me_."

My eyes slit into a hard glare. "No." I denied, my teeth clenching. "I would never be like you," I seethed.

She just shook her head for an uncomfortably long time. "Why would you want to be a mom, Jadelyn? You think you're gonna be different? Because you're not. History is just gonna repeat itself."

And I stormed out of my room, past my father, who remained to lurk in the doorway. I couldn't take her cruel words any longer. Upon fleeding the house, and making my destination to the safe haven of my car, I drove away, and it occurred to me I had no idea where the hell I was going. But I didn't care. Any place was better than this.

I drove around Hollywood for a bit, my destination remaining aimless and unclear. Leaning forward and twisting the knob all the way to the right, blaring my music, I hoped it would drown out my thoughts of uncertainty. Without intention, I soon found myself setting in front of Beck's house, the R.V. parked on his drive way. I prolonged exiting the car for a good ten minutes, before getting out and slamming my car door.

He didn't appear to be home, and it occurred to me that he was most likely at Tori's with the remainder of the gang. I sighed, and was thankful I'd kept my spare key to his R.V. I entered the place that was the closest thing to him I had ever known, and was over-run with nostalgia. I noticed, particularly, that every picture of me he'd had up in the past remained up, displayed on his night stand and walls. For some reason, that caused a smile to spread across my face.

I didn't have to wait too long for him to return home. He must have noticed my car, for he didn't appear all that surprised to see me. "Jade," he said, walking over to my setting position on the twin sized bed. "What are you doing here?"

I sighed, "My parents were just getting to be to much to me." I explained, as tears threatened to brim my eyes. "Is it alright if I stay here? Just for tonight."

I could have sworn that I saw a glimpse of a smile on his face as he answered, "Of course. Stay as long as you'd like."


	7. Chapter 7

**Sorry it took a bit longer to update than it usually does!**

**Also, is anyone else bummed out that next week is the last episode of Victorious. It's called Victori-yes and the plot says that Sikowitz convinces the gang that they have to say, "yes" to everything for a week. I actually concocted this little theory, that's actually probably really ridiculous, but ANYWAY:**

**how perfect would it be if Beck asked Jade to marry him, and since Jade is forced to say "yes" -hint, hint- I don't know. Probably really unlikely, but I just think it'd be the perfect end to such a grand show. **

**Now back to the story:**

* * *

Beck and I entered Hollywood Arts, coffees in hands and our opposites resting at our sides, contrary to the demeanor we would sport the last occurence we had entered the school together-back when we truly were together. I had planned to split our tie, and travel to my locker, but felt a quick rasp on my hand, as I attempted to part from him. "Hey." he said, flashing a tiny smile. "I'll go with you." And he walked me, failing to drop my hand, as we made the trip to my locker and I retrieved my books. It was all so eerily familiar and a pit built within my stomach at the nostalgic actions. It was me who broke my hand away, as I shoved several books into my bag.

The looks, no, stares, of our fellow classmates and kind-of-friends burned a hole into the back of my dyed-black-haired head. I slammed my locker shut and spun around, tugging down at the hem of the hoodie of the day. Beck didn't claim my hand again, and I let out a sigh of relief, attempting to put to rest the heard of butterflies that had awoken in my stomach at the feel of his touch. He directed me to follow him and we traveled to Vega's locker. I rolled my eyes, as we were bombarded with questions.

Andre was the first to speak up, knowing he was the second least likely person I would be quick to kill. "So uh, are you two, ya know?" a smiled played at his thick lips, and I watched as his eyes traveled to Tori next, with a longful stare.

It had always been blatantly obvious to me that he wished for more than a friendship with Vega. But I suddenly pondered if his desperate crush on the irritating half Latina was as evident to fellow members of the group, other than me, his object of affection, for instance. But as she dumbfounded kept her eyes locked on me and Beck, her eyebrow raised as Andre's question floated in the air and his eyes lingered on her, I figured she truly was as dumb as she looked, and so often seemed.

"Are we know... Ya know, what?" I asked, my tone flat.

Cat smiled a bit at me, her large brown eyes twinkling. "Ya know..." her smiled widened, and she performed an awkward shimmy-styled wiggle as she sung "Back together," while nudging my shoulder, playfully.

I took an uninterested sip of my coffee and averted my gaze, leaving Beck to answer their questions, for I had already lost every ounce of patience that had been established through my morning dose of caffeine.

"No." he replied, simply. "But we do have something to tell you."

My eyes widened and I whipped my head back around, to shoot him a deathly glare to serve as a warning.

A chorus of "what"'s erupted and I suppressed a groan. Tori and Cat faked their curiosity with not as much skill as I would have guessed, considering they've both acted in various plays.

Beck acknowledged my glare, but didn't close his mouth. I kept my composure, yet internally seethed. "There's really no way to tell you guys this. So I'm just gonna come right out and say it."He waited a beat, a dramatic pause, and it took all I had no to roll my eyes. Always an actor. Even when he wasn't in character.

"Jade's pregnant. We're going to have a baby."

Even my breathing grew shallow. It was so utterly surreal to hear that out loud. The reactions seemed to transform into slow motion. I watched our somewhat friends' pupils expand, in surprise. And to my astonishment, hearty smiles spread wide across their faces. Andre pulled Beck into an embrace, and murmured a happy "Congratulations, man." with a stifled voice, as if he withheld a lump in his throat. And when he looked at me, and began to pull me into a hug, as well, I noticed the moisture in his deep brown eyes. Andre was holding back tears. I was taken aback by the sudden display of affection, and awkwardly wrapped my arms around his torso. "Congratulations, Jade." he whispered into my ear. And I couldn't help but smile.

Robbie, also, stepped forward with a grin, and gave Beck a quick hug. He then made his way to me, and hesitantly held his arms out. I detected a hint of fear in his eyes. He'd always been frightened of me. Smart boy, I noted. But for some reason, at that moment, his typically irritating demeanor became endearing, for some reason and I couldn't help but happily step into his embrace, but for only a moment. I attempted to pull away, and his fingertips lingered on my sides. "Watch it, Shapiro." I growled. And he stepped away, holding his hands up, as if in surrender.

Cat let out a squeal and bounced over to both me and Beck. Although she was already well aware of the pregnancy and the fact we were planning on keeping the baby, the excitement of the situation never failed to impact her. I ran a hand through her synthetically red hair, and held her in an embrace for a moment longer than previously intended. "You're going to be such a good mommy, Jadey." she cooed. And I couldn't resist the urge to allow an almost idiotic smile to spread across my face. No one had ever said that to me before. It felt good. There was a fluttering within my chest, and I felt an oddly warm sensation. This was what happiness felt like. I hadn't felt much of it in quite some time. But the support of my somewhat friends had brought me some pieces back. I hadn't expected this reaction from them.

"Thanks," I breathed, attempting to keep moisture from my eyes. Damn these hormones. "You're going to be an amazing Aunty, Cat." My heart frosted over once more as Cat and I pulled away, and Vega smiled a knowing smile at me, keeping her distance, leaning against her locker. She hadn't dared attempted to hug Beck or me, which I was outspokenly grateful for. Still, her expression infuriated me.

"I'm really happy for you guys." She commented, her voice small. Her smile faded quickly as I shot her a scowl.

"Thanks," Beck smiled a half-hearted smile, and ran a hand through his hair. I groaned, and Beck peered over at me, raising an eyebrow in question.

But I simply rolled my eyes and shook my head, proceeding to take a large gulp of coffee. "I gotta get to class." I explained, my tone flat, as I stomped away from the scene, my millisecond of good mood tarnished by Vega.

I threw my bag to the floor, and slammed my coffee cup on my desk, as I slipped into the desk of my first period class, not as easily as I usually had, my ever growing baby bump becoming quite the obstacle.

I sighed and took another swig of my coffee, before setting it down once more, attempting to be more gentle this time. It wasn't coffee's fault Tori was a no-good slut. I didn't truly know why that interaction between Beck and her pissed me off so much. It was small, possibly insignificant. But the thought that they had probably slept together lingered in my mind. I couldn't shake it away. And it made me livid.

Tori Vega strode into our first hour English class with an uncommon grimace on her face. She took her everyday seat, in the desk parallel to mine. I kept my eyes focused forward, to the front of the classroom, in an attempt to ignore her.

I noticed, as she leaned over, from the corner of my eye. "Jade." she called, advocating she wished for my attention, though I didn't give it to her immediately. I continued gazing towards the front of the classroom, nothing particularly catching my eye. Our teacher, Mr. Kestner, had begun to preach to the class about the book we were currently reading, The Great Gatsby. I let out an uninterested sigh, and rested my cheek against my palm, steadying my elbow on the desk.

"Jade," the incessant whispering continued. She called my name three more times, before I looked her way, narrowed my eyes at her, and whisper shouted, "What?!"

"We need to talk. I didn't mean to make you mad back there." the brunette leaned towards my desk, her expression radiating nervousness. Good, she should be nervous. What in the hell kinda nerve this girl must have.

"You think you made me mad back there? You haven't _seen_ mad, Vega. Besides, that's not why I'm pissed at you. Not even close." I spat, my blood beginning to boil.

"Jade, if this is about me and Beck-the night you broke up, we didn't...I mean..." She stuttered around with her words for a moment before I whipped my head around, my hair flowing back, as I did, and glared at her viciously. Did she not know when to shut up? Seriously?

"Just fucking _save it_, Vega!" I ordered, my teeth clenched, noticing after the demand had left my mouth that it was several octaves louder than a whisper-voice.

Mr. Kestner took a brief break from nearly boring the senior class half to death, to shoot Tori and me a seemingly venemous glare. I noticed Tori had flinched from the corner of my eye, and smirked. "Ms. West, Ms. Vega." He nodded at us, his face turning slightly red. "Do we have a problem?"

I felt Tori gaze over at me, but I refused to meet her glance."No," Vega squeaked, meekly, turning her head away from me once more and Mr. Kester returned to his tiresome lesson I had no intention in paying attention to.

He continued to drone on and on about the chapter we had been expected to read, and would occasionally call on his unsuspecting victims, otherwise known as students, interrogating them with questions they so obviously withheld no answer to. I subconsciously prayed he wouldn't call on me and allowed myself to daydream, of being any other place than this damn classroom.

My mind wandered back to the events of last night, the details etching my brain still.

_I was grateful that Beck and I had yet to host that milestone in every breakup, the uncomfortable exchange of each other's things you'd kept, or they'd left, or whichever variation, because otherwise, my copy of The Scissoring would not have remained in his R.V. I lay on the twin sized mattress, and watch my favorite movie for the billionth and second time. A yawn stifles within my throat, as I feel the inevitable dreariness setting in. I had never been one to sleep all that much, but this pregnancy was exhausting me. Physically and emotionally._

_Beck emerged then, an array of clothing items piled into his arms. He carried a pair of his sweat pants, that were more often worn by me than him, any who, and black tank top I had left at the R.V. at some point or another. "Here," he murmured, as he sat them down on the bed, next to my legs._

_I lifted myself from the bed, much slower than I normally would have, and retreated to the bathroom to change into the clothes. I realized upon re-opening the door that I wasn't wearing an oversized hoodie, or jacket, that my stomach was on full display, completely exposed, and suddenly felt very uncomfortable, as I faced Beck. His eyes lingered on my protruding belly. I cleared my throat._

_"Eyes up here," I joked, half-heartedly, feeling extremely awkward, all of a sudden._

_He laughed a light laugh, most likely, out of discomfort._

_Beck flipped the light switch off, indicating that we were going to sleep, and the darkness of the R.V. felt reassuring to me. You don't have to hide, Jade. You don't have to pretend with me. I heard the words he'd recited to me so many times in countless variations, and attempted to take that advice. But it felt so irrelevant now._  
_As I settled into the microscopic bed, and awaited Beck's presence, I found myself staring at him quizzically, as he prepared a makeshift bed for himself on the floor of the R.V. "I'll just sleep on the floor," he explained, after noticing my expression, I presumed._

_I shook my head at him, "Don't be ridiculous," I muttered, before nodding to the area on the bed next to me._

_He bit his lip, as he walked over to me. Perhaps I was making him nervous, too. I don't know why. Even if we had broken up, we'd dated for three years. He was the single person in my life that I had always felt comfortable with. We'd practically lived together. We shouldn't have to feel like this, and yet, we so obviously did._

_I took a moment to study the demeanor of the R.V. There was still a picture of me and him, resting on the night stand, a goofy grin plastered on his face, and an incredulous smirk on mine. My clothes remained to clutter the floor. It never occurred to me how much this place had felt like home to me until I had left it. It was truly the only place that had ever felt like a home to me, and it was a damned R.V. My ex boyfriends damned R.V. Still, I couldn't help but feel a tinge of contentment to be here again, in this bed, with this boy._

_As he situated himself beneath the covers, and I allowed my eyes to close, I felt a hesitant arm slink my waist. My eyes shot open. "Beck, what are you doing?!" I demanded, my voice rising._

_He jumped, taken aback by my sudden harsh tone, and quickly recoiled his arm. "I'm sorry," he muttered, his face falling. "I just thought..."_

_"Well, you thought wrong." I quarreled. "We're not back together," My tone was softer now, and I averted my eyes, unsure of why I had reacted this way, why I was so hard on him. Because he needs to know he can't just pick you back up again when he's decided he wants to play with you. You're not some toy._

_Beck allowed a sigh, and glanced back up at me. "You were the one who asked me to the bed, Jade."_

_And I sighed, as well, rolling over slightly to face him. "Look, Beck, I'm sorry."_

_I witnessed a spark in his eye, and realized I had his full attention, taking into consideration that I didn't often admit an apology. I seized this advantage, and brought myself somewhat closer. "I'm pregnant."_

_"Thank you, Jade. I wasn't aware." He said, sarcastically, and proceeded to roll his eyes._

_"Shut up," I glared at him. "I'm not done yet."_

_He awarded me with his attention once more, and he gave me his gaze, eyes wide, staring at me quietly, awaiting me to continue._

_"There's a lot of complicated things-between you and me. Unanswered questions and unresolved issues. A lot of unfinished business. And I want to talk about it all. With you. But that will just leave me with more thinking, and more stress." I paused for a moment and watched his expression. He was gnawing on his lips, yet he kept his stare on me, and nodded, once he noticed my silence. "We're going to bring a baby into this world." I continued, and he took my hand then. I frowned at our interlacing fingers, but disregarded it. "I need to think about the baby right now. He or she needs to my priority. Not you." I finished, proud of him for keeping quiet, and somewhat taking pride in myself for displaying my true feelings for once, without him begging my confession out of me._

_He considered this for a moment, before he spoke up. I think he was impressed by me, as well. "I understand," he whispered. Beck ran an absent minded hand through his brunette mop of hair, before clearing his throat and speaking once more. "I just miss you. And I think it's so amazing, that we're having a baby." A smile played at his lips, and he rested his free hand on my swollen belly._

_I bit down on my lower lip, and felt a crease appear between my eyebrows. "I know." Apart of me wished to admit I missed him, too, but I decided that I'd already made myself appear vulnerable enough, at least for one night. So instead, I said, "But you hurt me, Beck. You hurt me, and I'm not saying never about us, but I'm sure as hell saying not right now."_

_Beck nodded his head, and I detected the hurt in his pools of brown. So I tightened my grasp on his palm, and before I knew it, we were drifting of to a slumber._

I snapped out of my trance as the bell sounded throughout the English classroom. I noticed Tori had already left, along with the majority of the rest of the class. I hoisted my bag over my shoulder, grabbed my coffee cup and began my journey to my next class.

* * *

**Please leave me reviews, thanks so much.**


	8. Chapter 8

Our room mate reconciliation was not one of the friendliest. Perhaps it was my increased hormones from pregnancy. Or my etched bitterness towards him over the break up. Or him resenting me for one reason or another that would probably add up to quite the list. But it was probably the fact that we weren't having sex. Whatever it was, Beck and I had been at each other's throats lately. More so than usual. Every miniscule thing he did bothered me. He breathed too deeply, and suddenly I became enraged and wished to whip out my scissors and cut out his jugular. And the feelings of hostility seemed mutual in both parties.

Typically, I had to go above and beyond to genuinely piss Beck off. And even then, it was nearly impossible for him to remain angry at me. But lately, I was setting him off greatly. And not in some sexy angry way, or some annoyed way that usually amused, but in a way that insinuated he was truly fed up with me.

For instance, this morning, I was running late and requested he 'hurry the hell up' in the shower. Sure, I shouted my suggestion, while rapping on the bathroom door, but I didn't even threaten him whilst he finished up for the next dreadfully long five minutes, or stalk into the shower and forcefully remove him from the bath. Regarding my lack of threatening, still, he exited the shower with an aggravated grimace directed towards me.

And when I scoffed back at him, he seethed. "Jade, just get in the damn shower! My God!" And with a roll of my eyes, and a flipping up of my middle finger towards him, I retreated into the bathroom, stifling a sarcastic comment.

It'd been similar to this for about a week, each other's hostility fueling the other ones I'm vowing that it's definitely the no sex thing.

Perhaps we had always been this difficult to get along with. We simply could find a common ground in physical pleasure. It wasn't that fucking was the only thing our relationship consisted of. It just rid us of the majority of our frustrations. So, as a result, both of us had remained in a hell of a better mood. But without it, we were deprived and bitchy. Yes, Beck Oliver really could be quite the bitch. Bigger than me, at times. And my pregnant, hormonal, and relatively angry self was about fed up the extent of his shit.

It wasn't until Beck began to throw a temper tantrum over the fact that I'd drank the remainder of the lemonade and failed to remind him to purchase more that I snapped, "Beck, just _shut the fuck up_!" I shouted, exasperated by his ongoing immaturity.

He slammed the empty 12-pack box of canned lemonade against the counter top. "Dammit! All I am asking for is your cooperation to at least tell me that were out of fucking lemonade!"

I threw my head back and groaned from my sitting position on his couch, in the center section of the R.V. "Come on, Beck. Is this really about the fucking lemonade?"

Beck rolled his eyes at me, and hugged the box to his frame as he escorted it outside, towards the trash can, setting at the end of his parents drive. He greatly resembled a pouting child. The image tugged at the edges of my lips, and I resisted the urge to laugh, as he re-entered the R.V. and slammed the door behind him.

"It was a stressful day," he started, his tone less harsh. "I just wanted some fucking lemonade." he glowered at his feet this time, rather than me.

I sighed. This wasn't about the fucking lemonade. Of course not. "I'm stressed, too." I admitted, biting down on my lip. "I mean, I'm growing a person inside of me. That's stressful! And scary..." my voice trailed off, and suddenly I felt Beck's presence on the couch, beside me.

"I know, Jade. I'm scared, too." He stared at me with wide eyes. "I feel like things would be a lot better if we just told my parents already."

And with that, I groaned. Not this again.

Perhaps Beck was inspired by my random act of courage trough telling my parents, because he kept nagging me about setting down with him to tell his. Why- I obtained absolutely no idea, considering mine had gone the opposite of well. But he refused to do it without my presence provided. Although I continued to attempt to convince him that his parents had never taken kindly to me and it would be for him and I, both, that he brace them alone, he insisted that I be here.

So I unwillingly entered Beck's house, but not true home, clad in oversized black sweatshirt and grimace on face. He led me in, keeping an grip on my arm, most likely so I didn't attempt to make a run for it. I stood my grand, although it was tempting, when the sound of his mother's high pitched voice filled the room. We were escorted to the living room, and sat on a couch parallel to Beck's parents.

"So, I understand there's something you two would like to speak to us about," Beck's mother said, batting her eyelashes furiously. It was sickening, how peppy she was. Mr. Oliver simply glared at me, draping a reassuring hand over his wife's shoulder. I presumed he was still angry about the whole dog mauling him thing. I scoffed at the miniscule grudge he was holding and crossed my legs.

"Please," the senior Oliver raised his right arm in a manner that pissed me off all over again. What a surprise. "You're not about to tell us you're engaged, are you?"

I saw from the corner of my eye that Beck rolled his, and took a breath, as if he were about to speak, but I cut him off. I had had about enough of this Oliver's shit, as well. Although, he had been dissapproving of our relationship for quite some time, did he truly have to remain this bitter? The manner in which he treated Beck had always angered me. He talked down to him, slighted him, made him feel as if every word he had to say was irrelevant. And Beck had always pleaded me not to pitch an attitude with his father. Out of the slither of respect I withheld for Beck and his dad's relationship, and the desire to keep my relationship healthy and free of most tension, I had always attempted to keep my mouth shut. But I was no longer in a relationship with Beck. And as a soon-to-be-mother myself, I wasn't going to keep my mouth any longer.

"Beck knocked me up," I said, bluntly. I attempted to act disinterested by their reactions, but in reality, they were priceless.

Mrs. Oliver let out a short gasp, possibly at my utter bluntness, and arose her hand to the place over her gaping mouth. After a minute, she composed herself and simply stared at us, with wide terror-filled eyes.

I was somewhat concerned that I had given Mr. Oliver a stroke for a second there. He simply gazed at Beck and I, mouth also agape, gasping inaudible stutters of almost sounds, his palms wildly shaking.

To say I had caught the Oliver clan off guard was a bit of an understatement.

Contrary to the surprised demeanor of his parents, Beck glowered at me with knowing, disapproving eyes. I could feel his stare, but I refused to acknowledge it. I was too busy watching the elder members of the family like a hawk.

"That's...that's..." his mother tried, at an evident loss for words.

And then, his father's bellowing laugher filled the room. Beck, his mother, and I all shot him curious, somewhat concerned looks. Jesus, had I really set him off the deep-end.

"You're joking, right?" He asked, continuing to chuckle lightly.

I shook my head, slowly, gazing at him with careful eyes.

"Jade, always the jokester." He kept up, as if he were convincing himself it was some big conspiracy hi-jinx. His wife glared at him, and nudged him, roughly.

Beck spoke up then. "Dad," he cleared his throat. "Jade's serious. Uh, it's not a joke."

And suddenly the true fate of the situation registered on Mr. Oliver's face and he gave off an extremely grim expression. I noticed Beck's mother and father simultaneously reach for each other's hands.

"Are you thinking you're going to keep the baby?" He asked. I watched their hands, with focus. He squeexed hers, and she held on tightly, as if his support might suddenly fade way, as if she felt the need to hold onto his palm for dear life.

"Yes." Beck answered, matter of factly. And there was no detection of fear or hesitance in his voice. He was sure of himself. He no longer resembled some frightened small child. He sounded like a man. And with that, his hand slipped in mine and, I squeezed it, attempting to be reassuring. His parents eyed the display with identical frowns plastered on their faces.

His father displayed a look of pure remorse. "Well son," he sighed out, studying the presumably once white carpet below him, as he spoke. "You've been living on your own terms since you were fourteen, since you moved into that R.V." and he gazed up to look at Beck with ice-filled, emotion-less eyes, that reminded me vaguely of my own father. "You're almost an adult now. I think it's safe to say your mother and I aren't going to support you on this." Mrs. Oliver nodded, as if on cue, and tightened her deathly grip on her husband's palm. "But you're almost an adult now. I'm afraid we can't stop you."

Beck's face fell, and a solemn expression took over his features. Of all the times I'd wished to punch someone in the face, I'd have to vow that this was the greatest.

"Beckett, we love you." his mother suddenly chirped in, tears filling her dark brown eyes that Beck surely had received from her. "And we want to be grandparents. But not like this. Not with _this girl_." She hissed the words _this girl_ and she shook her head with a look towards me, filled with disgust.

In all the years that I'd known him, I'd always known Beck as a rather passive person. He obtained the ability to calmly express his disagreement with something. And that's the way he'd always acted towards his parents. So when he hopped up from his position on the loveseat, quickly releasing my hand, then proceeded to tip over the coffee table, it was safe to say that I was surprised.

"Mom, don't you fucking get it?!" he practically screamed, pointing accusing fingers at her, as he spoke. I knew Beck had been on edge lately, but holy shit. Although he'd always obtained slight authoritative and parental issues, not enjoying constantly being ordered around, he had always attempted to respect his parents. This was a whole new side to him. "It has always been _this girl_. It will always be _this girl_! I love _this girl_ and I love _this baby_! And if you don't approve of that, well then I guess you can both just fuck off."

I felt somewhat sick to my stomach, as I came to the realization that he sounded like me yelling at my parents.

But before me, Mr. or Mrs. Oliver could utter a word, Beck yanked me up, almost too hard, from the petite couch, and led me out of that godforsaken house, and back into the R.V.

He slammed the door, violently behind him, his breathing heavy. He stomped over to the bed, and plopped himself down, nearly hyperventilating. He buried his face within his palms, and sat there, still, for several minutes. I made my way across the R.V., and took a hesitant seat next to him.

I had never seen Beck like that, so angry, so careless. But then I realized that the reason he'd gotten that way was because of me. He was defending me. I felt a pang of guilt, and placed a hand on his knee. He looked up, then and the moisture in his eyes was evident. With that, no further questions, or actions, or hesitance, I took him in my arms, and he sobbed against my chest.

Although he'd never said it, I think he had always assumed that telling his parents of my pregnancy would pan out better than the aftermath of telling my parents. I think he'd hoped they would be much more supportive, because although the Olivers definitely weren't in the running for _Parents Of The Year_ anytime soon, they sure as hell beat out the Wests. I stroked his hair, and planted a kiss on his head, realizing that, subconsciously, I'd wished his parents would have reacted in a better fashion, as well.

"It's okay, Beck." I cooed, shaking away silent tears. "It's you and me in this," I whispered. "We'll be okay. We can do this."

* * *

**Sorry, I know. It's kind of short. The next couple chapters will be a lot more interesting, so keep reading.**

**Thanks for reading and all of the support. Please review!**


	9. Chapter 9

I absolutely detested doctor's offices.

I hated the plastered on fake smiles of the typically overweight chatty women who worked at the front desk.

I hated the obnoxious, drooling, hyperactive children who inhabited the waiting rooms.

I hated the glares and curious looks my bump received from each person who were all, without one doubt, were filing me into the category of another statistic.

And I despised the nauseatingly peppy nurses.

I suppressed a groan as my name was called in that peppy manner, signifying it was my turn to follow the nurse down a series of endless hallways until we finally ended up in the exam room, temporarily halting the journey to weigh me. I cringed at the number. I'd gained a good five pounds since the beginning of my pregnancy. Damn, I hated the doctor. But Beck's lurking presence as he followed me and the irritating nurse seemed to calm me down a bit. His hands weren't on me, but just knowing he was there was somewhat of a comfort.

This was merely the second appointment with a consecutive doctor, and it wasn't even scheduled. My next true appointment wasn't set for about another three weeks, considering I'd only had one about a week and a half ago. But Beck was insistent upon meeting the doctor who would be taking care of me for the remainder of my pregnancy. So he drug me here, and I complied with a heep of sarcastic comments, threats, and groans, but complied, nonetheless.

We were led back to the bright white exam room and I propped myself up on the sterile paper covered table, before the nurse took my blood pressure, eyeing my colored hair extensions with careful eyes, causing me to roll mine.

I noticed as she frowned down at the results. "You're blood pressures a little high, honey. Under a lot of stress?"

I grimaced. I hated when people refered to me as "honey." I wasn't her honey and the term was so damn demeaning. "Mm, kinda." I replied, becoming disinterested quickly, and averted my gaze down to pick at my chipped black nail polish.

Beck had taken a seat in the chairs arranged parallel to the exam table. He frowned in my direction. "It's not too high, is it?" His tone radiating concern.

She shook her head. "Not alarmingly. But high stress levels can distress your baby. It could affect his or health and development. So just try to take it easy." She ran a hand along my bare arm. My head quickly whipped to her direction. I scowled at her and ripped my arm away from her grasp. "K, I'll try." I nearly growled, and directed my gaze back to the puke green carpet.

And with that, she murmured a "Your doctor will be in shortly" and exited the room.

From the corner of my eye, I noticed Beck placing his head in his palms and pinching the bridge of his nose. "Must you insist on being rude to everyone?" He groaned out, keeping his face hidden from me.

Rather than assembling a snappy comeback, I sat in silence and pondered Beck's question. The answer was no. I did not _insist_ on acting rude towards everyone. Only over-excited bitch nurses who refered to me as 'honey', judged my hair, and told me what to do.

Since our temporary two sided surrender following his asshole parents practically disowning him, we'd attempted to continue playing nice. But eventually, one would so something that was irritating to the other and another battle would commence. My raging hormones and the extreme amount of stress we were both under didn't seem to create the accurate environment for one to 'try to take it easy'.

I jolted my head back up as the door opened abruptly. Dr. Roberts entered, flashing an inviting smile. She was a woman of her mid-forties, with brown hair that cascaded past her shoulders, and friendly blue irises."Hello, Jade. Nice to see you again. Didn't expect it to be so soon, but still nice." I made an attempt to smile back, primarily to prove Beck wrong, and murmured a soft "You too." But I didn't truly have to fake it. I actually liked Dr. Roberts. She was laid back, and friendly in a not at all nauseating manner. Plus, she allowed me to have caffeine.

"Is this the father?" She asked , gesturing to Beck. He immediately arose from her sitting position and extended a hand out towards the doctor. "Hi, yes. I'm Beck Oliver." He smiled a dazzling smile, and ran his free hand through his hair. I smirked. For some reason, seeing Beck feel nervous amused me. He was always so confident and sure of himself. It was rather refreshing to see him so rarely unsure.

"So," Dr. Roberts said, inching away from Beck and the pleasantries. She wheeled a somewhat familiar machine towards me, moving a million miles a minute. "Last time, your kid was being a little shy." She noted, a smile playing at her painted pink lips. "If I'm able to detect it, would you like to know the sex of your baby?"

Before I could eagerly nod, Beck spoke up, "Oh, no, no, no." I shot him a deathly glare. "Jade, don't you think it would be so much more special if we were surprised?"

"I think getting knocked up at seventeen years old is enough surprise for one lifetime, thank you very much." I rebutted.

I could detect Dr. Robert's amusement in the situation by her facial expression. "Alright," She said, clapping her hands together, and moving across the room to shut the lights off. "Why don't you lie back, we can get started, and if the sex is evident, and you still want to know, perhaps Beck could leave the room while I tell you." I complied, and laid back, pulling up the hem of my non-hoodie shirt slightly, feeling uncomfortably exposed right away.

She rolled it up several more inches, and I frowned at my belly. "This may be cold," she warned, as she began to rub the gel across my bare stomach. I shivered and suddenly Beck was at my side, pulling a chair over and taking my hand in his.

A fuzzy picture appeared on the screen and the three of us gazed at it. It wasn't the first time I'd seen my baby, but it was Beck's, apart from the sonogram picture I had showed him. "Look," he whispered, and although I was focused on the screen, I could have sworn I heard a smile in his voice. "That's our baby."

And I couldn't fight my joy any longer. I smiled and my breathing shallowed, as I admired the image. I felt my heartbeat increase. "Yeah," I replied softly, remaining in awe.

I peered at Dr. Roberts, who was studying the large black and white screen. "Can you tell?" I asked, and a smile spread across her face at the question.

"Yes," and she nodded. "Do you want to know?"

Biting down on my lip, I then turned my attention to Beck. He continued to stare at the image displayed on the screen, grinning from ear to ear. He brought my hand to his lips and planted a gentle kiss on my palm. I shook my head. "No," I whispered. "No. I want it to be a surprise."

* * *

The drive home was adequately silent. I held the latest sonogram picture Dr. Roberts had printed out for me, and gazed back and forth from out the window to the photograph, leaning forward every few minutes to switch the station when a shit song came on the radio, which, in this day and age, was often. Beck drove quietly, traveling at a speed too slow for my liking, but I refrained from protesting his legal speed. We were both obviously in decent moods, and I didn't want to ruin it with my constant griping. Even though no one in rush hour Los Angeles should ever drive this slow.

As I was watching the road lines blur away at our speed, I suddenly felt an odd sensation within my stomach. It began as a subtle fluttering, and continued what felt like a muscle I didn't know I obtained twitching, without my permission. I jumped, taken aback, by the my internal movement. "Beck! Beck!" I shouted, and he jolted towards me, alarmed, nearly swerving into the other lane and upcoming traffic. He gained control of the roll just in time, and successfully avoided crashing, much to my jolting heart rate's appeasement.

"What is it?! What's wrong?" He asked, jolting his gaze from me to the road, concern filling his voice.

"Nothing, Beck. Nothing's wrong." I assured him, before yanking a hand from the steering wheel and placing it on my stomach. "He's kicking! The baby's kicking." I smiled, positioning myself so that I was facing him.

I watched a smile spread across his face, but he kept his eyes on the road, cautiously watching so that we didn't get into another almost-wreck. "Oh my God. I can feel it," he whispered, and then his smile suddenly faded. "Did you..." His voice faltered, and he looked at me for a moment. "Did you say he?" He asked, his tone suspicious, as he directed his gaze to the road once more.

Taken aback by his question, I thought for a moment, and realized that I had. Where the hell did that come from? I didn't even realize I thought of my baby as a "he." But as I pondered the thought for a moment more, I realized that this baby felt like a little boy. A little boy with Beck's fluffy hair, and friendly eyes. I couldn't help but allow my smile to spread wider. "Yeah, I... I guess I did." I admitted.

I watched a crease appear between his eyebrows. "You know. How do you know?! You said you wanted it to be a surprise!" He exclaimed, outraged.

I rolled my eyes at his accusation. "Beck." I countered, my tone stern. "I don't know. I just think the baby's going to be a boy."

Beck continued to frown, and didn't speak for a moment. He didn't believe me. "Beck." I said again, louder this time. "I want it to be a surprise, just like you." Lowering my hand onto where his hovered over my belly, I interlaced our fingers, hoping to reassure him. And sure enough, I earned myself another smile from Beck.

* * *

"I think it's going to be a girl."

"What?"

We were lounging in the R.V., me sprawled out wildly across his bed, and Beck setting indian style, his legs crossed on the ground, as we watched television. We were watching Full House, big surprise. When Beck first made his attempt at introducing me to the sitcom, I was hesitant. But, although I would never admit it to a soul, I'd come to enjoy it quite a bit. Cheesy as hell, and far too "problem of the week" to be considered my taste, but still, a quality show. And who the hell doesn't love the Olsen twins? Well, excerpting the present, in which they consist of skin and bones and sport an attire of hobo chiq. We were half way through an episode when I felt my eyelids grow heavy. Not able to support their weight any longer, I allowed them to shut. I had been drifting off to sleep, when I heard Beck's sudden confession.

"I think we're going to have a girl," he repeated for me, and I heard a smile in his voice.

I rolled over and peered down at him, with a lazy shake of my head. "Okay, Beck. This opinion means so much, considering the baby is obviously inside of YOU." I taunted, sarcastically, flashing a smirk in his direction.

"I'm serious. I know I don't have 'maternal instinct'" he rose up both hands and practiced air quotes. "or whatever, but as HER father, I'm telling you. We're gonna have a little girl."

"Alright." I countered. "If you're so sure we're gonna have a girl, tell me, _Beckett_," I stressed his name out as if it were venomous, for infesis, my tone condescending. "What's 'daddy's little girl's name going to be?" I used air quotes this time, mimicking him.

He sat in faux thought for a minute, and then dorkily acended his finger into the air. "How about Ashley?" he flaunted a smug grin.

I dramatically gagged. "Uh, how 'bout no?"

"Mary-Kate?"

"We are not naming our child after an Olsen!" I bellowed, in response, exasperated.

He gazed up, and stuck his tongue out at me, childishly. I tugged on it, causing him to frown.

When I released him, he propped himself up and joined me on the bed. I didn't bother re-situating my position to make room for him. He lifted my leg to move it, and I thrusted it forward, kicking him in the ribs. But he regained his grip on my leg, with a chuckle, and threw it on the bed, claiming a seat in its place. "Jade," he laughed, as I regrouped and jabbed him once more, my bare feet serving as weapons. "Calm down." He breathed, attempting to wrastle me, clearly amused. And soon, he had me pinned down, and we became drunk on our own laugher. I had no recollection of time for a moment, getting lost in the slits that were his brown eyes post fit of laughter.

But as we both sobered and sat up, our hands dropped to our sides, and a stiff burst of humorlessness invaded the air. I leaned against the bed frame, and acquired several deep breaths, recovering from the uproar of uncharacteristic (on my part) giddiness that had just permeated the room. Beck kept a fixed stare on me, surveying my expression. He beamed, and threw his head back. "I haven't seen you laugh like that in so long," He mumbled.

I laughed with irony, and a hint of sadness in my short cackle, because I couldn't remember the last time I had.

* * *

The following day, Cat and I went to the mall. I was grateful we'd arranged this. I hadn't gotten to see Cat on an extravagance of occurences lately. Of course, one needed to take her in doses. Although, she was my best friend, she's also _Cat_. Which means utterly eccentric, loud, and mind-numbingly clueless, at times, with a blissful, irritating, child-like personality. But I'd be lying if I said I would wish her to be any other way.

It was also nearing the Christmas season. Safe to say, considering prior events, I wouldn't be spending the time with my or Beck's family. I didn't annually spend the holidays with my parents, though. Typically, Beck's family would invite me to celebrate with them, most likely after Beck convincing them, attempting to make me feel wanted by SOME family, since certainly my presence wouldn't be desired by my own. But this year, I'm assuming we're gonna be proclaiming the supposedly joyous holiday solo. But the fact that I wouldn't be fully on my lonesome gave me hope.

Since I was accustomed to accompanying Beck to holiday festivities, and my mother had been on a prolonged business trip, I'd spent Thanksgiving alone this year. It was a dreadful day, but of course it couldn't out-suck the time my father called the police on me on Thanksgiving. Cat requested I joined her family, but I was unsure if I could stomach her brother's holiday meat, so I (somewhat) politely declined. Later in the night, the petite redhead appeared at my empty house, with a dish of warm mashed potatoes, my favored cuisine of cliché fall and winter foods.

"I want to get Beck something special, but not weirdly special." I whined, shifting through a rack of flannel shirts at Zumiez. Although one may argue all variants of plaid or basically identical, they would be wrong. This shit was some disatisfying material, scene kid garb, all of it. Pitiful.

Cat peeked into a pile of t-shirts, examining each one. She gazed over and smiled a knowing smile at me. "Why don't you guys just get back together already?!" She nearly shouted through the store, and I glowered at her, my cheeks flaming.

"Be-fucking-cause." I answered just as loud, earning several stares from the inhabitants of the store. I glared back at them, daring them to question a pregnant woman. I was starting to become slightly more comfortable sporting my protruding belly in stomach, but I still felt strangers' judging eyes on me wherever I went.

Cat let out a squeak and hid from me behind a rack of shirts, momentarily.

"Come on," I sighed, and pivoted the opposite direction to flee the store, my synthetic redhead best friend hot on my heels.

We began browsing through the various array of stores lining the shopping mall. Cat struggled to keep my pace, as I darted from store to store in search of the perfect, yet casual gift for my baby daddy ex boyfriend. Why did this have to be so complicated?

"What should I get Robbie?" Cat suddenly asked.

I shrugged, giving her a bland shrug, as if that was all I could afford to put forth into this conversation, which it was.

"Seriously!" She shrieked, a large crease appearing between her eyebrows. She gazed up at me with her wide dark brown eyes, that twinkled in the dim florescent lighting of the mall. She tugged at my sleeve. "Jadey! Help me!"

"Off, Cat." I grumbled, and she recoiled her hands quickly. "Just get him something weird. He'll love it."

I had somehow wandered into the food court, my stomach expressing demands of hunger for all to hear. We filed into the line of soft pretzels, and I groaned at the large line up of people who were ahead of me.

Cat continued to rant and whine. I had begun to tune her out, and I believe she noticed my ignoring her, because her high-pitched voice arose an octave. "Jadey! Please!" She panted, inching closer to me, but kept her hands off of me this time. I internally applauded her small amount of wit. I detested touching. She knew that. "It has to be something special."

A loud groan escaped my mouth, and as the line began to shorten, I moved forward on cue, Cat in tow. "Why does it have to be so damn special, huh?" I questioned, my irritation growing. My patience was typically abbreviated, but as my hormones grew increasingly worse, as did my temper.

Biting down on her lip, Cat averted my gaze. I narrowed my eyes at her. What was she hiding. "What's going on?" I asked, abruptly. She just shook her head, and refused to meet my glance. "_Cat_." I warned, my tone resembling one of a mother's when she was on the verge of counting to three.

She looked back up at me with those damn pleading eyes and I narrowed mine at her. "Okay!" she squealed, as we neared the front of the line. "Robbie and I kissed."

I practically choked on my tongue. "What?!" I demanded, as the pubescent boy with a skin problem working the Auntie Anne's countertop attempted to take my order. I raised my index finger at him, signifying him to wait. God damn, I was quite motherly today.

Cat rocked back and forth with clear anxiousness. "Yeah, last week." she said, her usual abbrasiveness faltering. I rolled my eyes at her, and requested that she hold on, as I ordered two cinnamon pretzels.

Once we'd attained our snack and journeyed to a nearby table accustomed for a pair, I demanded answers from her. "What happened?"

She finished chewing and flicked cinnamon sugar from her fingers, before gazing back at me, with an innocent expression and a shrug. "What. Happened." I repeated, attempting to withhold my composure, for surrounding mallrats sake. That peppy nurses voice suddenly sounded in my head, reminding me to take it easy, to keep my stress levels down. I drew in a deep breath.

She shrugged again. "I don't know, Jade! He just kissed me."

"But you wanted him to kiss you, right?" I confirmed, wondering absent mindedly if I needed to beat the shit out of a certain nerd.

Cat blushed a shade equivalent to her hair color. "Yeah, I mean... I guess." And then she giggled. She fucking giggled. The girl had it bad. I sighed.

"So, what? Are you two gonna get together?" I attempted to smile at her, but it probably resembled something more like a grimace. Sometimes I desired to be girlier- like those cliche gal-pals in the movie that ranted and raved over boys, who squealed when something exciting happened to their friend, who were overly supportive, and hosted events like girls nights, and kept no secrets. But I just wasn't up for that shit.

"No," she admitted, and gazed down at her pretzel that she'd suddenly forgotten about. I shoved a chunk in my mouth.

"Do you want to be together?" I tried, knowing that with Cat, it sometimes required to ask the clever questions to withdraw answers from her.

But I supposed this wasn't the case. Because she simply shrugged again, with a quiet grin, and I thought better of reprimanding her. Instead, I looked her square in the eye, and wondered out loud, "Why didn't you tell me?"

She swallowed, and frowned at me. "I don't know." She answered, her frown increasing. "You were just busy with the baby stuff. I didn't want to bother you." Her face fell, and she resembled so much of a child. Her expression broke my heart.

"Cat," I sighed, my tone growing soft. "You know you can always tell me anything." I leaned forward and placed a hand on her small one. "No matter what's going on with me, nothing that's important to you will ever bother me." And she smiled a bright smile. "I'll always be there for you," I assured her.

She practically leapt across the table, pulling me into a tight tackle hug. I practically had to pry her off my body, but I allowed it for several moments, stifling a smile. We finished our pretzels and discarded the wrapping before continuing our shopping trip.

Cat arose her right hand into the air dramatically. "Now!" She announced, her voice deepening for effect, "To find the perfect gift for our men!" I rolled my eyes, but followed her regardless.

* * *

**Extra long chapter for you guys today. **

**Also, in your reviews, you can start guessing if you think Beck or Jade is right about the gender and also start suggesting names.**

**Please leave me a review telling me your opinion on the story AND who you think is right/a name. **

**Thanks. You guys are the best. **


	10. Chapter 10

**Shout out to all you guys for the kick-ass name ideas. Most of you seem to think Beck is right... Guess only time will tell. Keep it up. Thanks.**

* * *

After scouring the mall of gifts for another sufficiently arduous two hours, I had narrowed it down to the options of a new pair of combat boots, or a DVD set of Full House, the series, complete with a decorative house cover. So entirely lame.

Cat had decided on a selection of male makeup to give to Robbie. I'd told her to reconsider, and search for an alternative option, a gift less...repulsing, but she insisted on this present. Apparently, she didn't care to hear the opinion of a sane person.

Why I accommodated to her suggestion of searching for other gifts before I made any permanent decisions, I sure as hell do not know. Because here it is, the eve of Christmas eve, and I'm scrounging through one of the many malls that stood in the city of Los Angeles, dodging desperate mall rats left and right. Jesus, help me.

I'd caught up with Cat and Andre after giving up on my latest conquest- finding Beck a watch. It seemed appropriate. All fathers wore watches, didn't they? Atticus Finch would wear a watch. But perhaps Beck wouldn't be the 'Atticus Finch' type of father, the way I'd assumed all traditional fathers behaved, or should have, as a child. And considering almost everyone, even the common eight year old, owned cell phones these days, I concluded it was a stupid idea.

I discovered Cat and Andre standing within a heap of people, muttering various "excuse me"s, and shielded themselves from wild elbows and wandering hands, as they emerged from PacSun. I rolled my eyes, and extended my shopping bag-less hands forward to tug my friends from the plethora of people.

"Thanks," Andre smiled, catching his breath.

"Did you find something?!" Cat practically wailed, clapping her hands together enthusiastically.

"Yes, Cat, hence my abundance of shopping bags," I answered, sarcasm dripping from my tongue, as I displayed my bare hands to her.

Cat giggled for an unknown reason. I ignored her, and hovered a protective hand over my stomach, as we braced the ever growing crowds. Andre and Cat strode forward, struggling to keep my pace. Even at four months pregnant, I remained faster than them. Pitiful.

I needed to sit down. I was never enthusiastic over crowds. Well, I was scarcely too enthusiastic over much of anything, with the exception of coffee. But this abundance of people was stressing me out. I traveled to a nearby empty table, just outside of the over capacitated food court, well aware of the two following close behind. I let out an exasperated sigh as I plopped into the chair and laid my head against the table that displayed some type of sticky residue. Ew. I swatted at my hair, to protect it from the stickiness, as Cat and Andre took the seats across from me.

Andre attempted to optimistic. But truly, it was just irritating.

"Don't worry, Jade. Beck'll love anything you get him."

Untrue. He'd extensively griped to Vega after I'd given him a can of lemonade for his birthday. Sure, it wasn't the best gift. But. He. Fucking. Liked. Lemonade. I groaned this time, rising from my position to face my friends.

I gazed at Andre and an idea sparked in my head. "What did Beck get me?" I asked, a bit of excitement returning to my voice.

"I don't know. We haven't had too much time to hang, as of late. He been a little busy." Andre returned, and although he kept up his cool-guy composure, I noticed the sadness lingering in his eyes, and instantly felt a pang of guilt for stealing his best friend from him so often.

But I scowled, nonetheless, unsure that I even believed him. After attempting to hassle the answer I desired out of him for several more minutes, I let out a defeated sigh, and realized he was. After all, I couldn't imagine Andre lying to me. He'd always shown me undeserved kindness. I never truly understood why, if it were fear, or perhaps, friendship, but I accepted it, always content to receive what I wanted.

Allowing my head to fall back down on the table, admitting a THUD as my skull fell. I let out a groan. This is hopeless. I deserved to wallow in stickiness. We sat there for a bit, bystanders eyeing me, and Cat rambling something or another about her brother. I'd learned to tune her out after anything that followed "One time my brother..."

"Wait!" Andre exclaimed, throughly animated. "I got an idea!"

My head instantly shot up. "What?!"

He smiled, "Patience, sugar, patience." I narrowed my eyes at him, and he began to explain. Quickly. "Beck loves Christmas, right? His family and him aren't exactly the closest. But Christmas has always been that time that everybody puts their bullshit aside, and they can be happy. This Christmas, I don't really see that happening."

"Is this an idea or a guilt trip?" I interrupted.

He ignored me, and carried on. "What's the next best thing to family?" His statement tugged at the corners of his full lips.

"Candy!" Cat exclaimed, whipping a piece out from the confines of her bra. "No! Wait! Giraffes! No. Special cheese?!"

"CAT!" I cut her off, in a venomous tone. She frowned, admitting a small squeal and began to munch on her candy.

I took a deep, steadying breath, before directing my attention back to Andre.

"What are you getting at. That we all have some big Christmas shin-dig with the Harris's?" I asked, somewhat hating myself for using the word 'shin-dig'.

He laughed. "Mm, no. I don't think y'all are quite ready for that."

Cat suddenly perked up. "We can go to my house! My brother's gong to make his special Christmas meat!" To which Andre and I both exclaimed a simultaneous "No!"

"I say we have a friends' surprise Christmas. At the RV." Andre explained.

I considered it, for a moment. If this were any other occurrence the answer would be an immediate no. But I pondered how much Beck had given up for me, how much I _knew_ he adored Christmas, and decided perhaps I could endure this for one day, for him.

"Okay," I nodded, in agreeance to the plan and a look of success swept over Andre's features.

"But no Vega." I deadpanned, and he frowned.

I wasn't about to explain the events of the night Beck and I had broken up, that they probably fucked, that I would most likely kill her. Partly because Andre wanted Tori. How the hell would he feel that his best friend _probably _fucked her? And partly because the _probably _still lingered in my mind. I desperately didn't want to know the truth. For now, at least, ignorance was blissful.

"My stress levels were high, at my last doctor's visit. I'm trying to keep them down. Vega stresses me out, alas, no Vega." I explained, not technically lying. All was true. It simply wasn't the full extent of the reason.

But regardless, Andre nodded, and a smirk appeared on his face. "Sure you gonna be okay with Robbie?"

I wasn't sure, actually. But I glanced at Cat, who looked at me with large eyes and I nodded.

"Yeah, I'll be okay with Robbie. _No_ promises on the well-being of Rex, though."

* * *

I'd sent Beck to run some errands for me the following night, so that Andre could come over and prep the RV of decorations with me. Several hours later, we'd strung Christmas lights along the walls and ceiling, assembled some sort of Christmas tree, and hung makeshift ornaments, that mostly consisted of photos of the gang, some of my old scissors, and anything capable of being hung that I found around the RV. The finishing touch, being the array of fake snow centered on the ground of the RV. Cheesy, but Beck was from Canada. He loved the snow to bits. And Los Angeles hardly ever did. So fake snow, it is.

Once the area had been staged for a party, I retreated to the bathroom to get ready. I threw on an over sized black sweater, leggings, (also in black), and my red combat boots. A tinge of Christmas spirit never hurt anyone.

But I realized that statement was far from true once I opened the door to the RV, allowing Cat Valentine in, only minutes later. She was clad in a red and green babydoll dress, with red stockings, and a rein deer antler headband. A fucking reindeer antler headband.

I gawked at her, startled by her appearance as she bounced in, decorative Christmas sugar cookies in hand. Andre smiled at her, and gave her a small hug. "Lookin' mighty Christmas-y, Lil Red."

"Thanks!" She giggled, smoothing out her hair as she handed off the tray of cookies to him. "You too!" She returned, noting his green sweater. She then frowned at me. "Jadey. Where's your Christmas spirit?"

I motioned downward to my boots, muttering a "Duh." Then the over-enthusiastic redhead skipped over to embrace me. I allowed her a quick hug, before pushing her off.

I glanced around. "Where's Robbie?" Assuming he would have accompanied Cat.

"Right here-io!" He called, in a sing-song, irritating voice, as he made his way up the steps to the RV.

I sneered at the puppet in his hands. "Oh look, Robbie brought firewood."

"Oh, I got some wood for you, alright." returned Rex, and Andre had to confine me in his arms, as I lunged at him.

Suddenly, I detected headlights in my peripheral vision. I froze. "He's home!" I whisper yelled and proceeded to order them to hide. Cat and Robbie dashed to the small kitchenette, hiding behind a cabinet, whereas Andre quickly made his way to the bathroom. I gently shut the door and flipped the light switch downward, and before I ran to duck behind the bed. Beck's combat boots thud against the several stairs sounded loudly throughout the RV, as an indication he was approaching.

The door creaked open, and I watched as Beck peered in, grocery bags in hand, taken aback by the darkness. "Jade?" He called, flipping on the lights, bringing to life the Christmas scene before him. "Surprise!" We simultaneously shouted, jumping up from our hiding places, well with the exception of Cat who hopped out a second later, shrieking a "Surprise, Beck, Surpri-i-i-se!"

A smile spread across his face, along with a crease between his eyebrow, as he greeted everyone with an embrace. Andre, first, then Cat and Robbie. And lastly, me. "What is this?" Beck asked, grinning, as he pulled away from our hug.

"It's a Christmas party." I answered, flashing a short smile. He gazed around at the RV, suddenly breathless, and bit the side of his cheek. "You did all this?" He whispered.

I nodded. "Andre helped a lot."

Andre hopped in them, wrapping an arm around me. "Nah, she did most of it."

It's times like these when I realize I truly love Andre. He's not only Beck's friend. He's mine, too.

The night carried on, with several Christmas games that Cat had arranged, ones that made absolutely no sense, like "Pin the Tail on the Elf," or some version of Operation that included Santa Clause. We ate Cat's Christmas cookies, which, admittedly, were delicious. And I didn't even kill Rex. Somewhat of a success, if you ask me.

Beck didn't question why Tori wasn't there, much to my appeasement. We'd started watching _Elf_, to finish off the night, before opening presents as our finale. Cat, Robbie, and Andre huddled together on the couch, which Beck and I sat on the bed, each one of our eyes glued to the minuscule television set.

Typically, I'd always found Christmas movies nauseating. Far too much happiness and singing. Ick. But this one had always withheld a special place in my heart. Beck loved it. It was his favorite of Christmas movies, and he had always insisted we watched it after a lengthy Christmas dinner with Mr. and Mrs. Oliver. But our exhaustion had constantly gotten the better of us during the annual showing of the film, and we'd end up falling asleep in each other's embrace at some point.

We were half-way through the film, when I felt Beck's eyes lingering on me from my peripheral vision. Suddenly, fingers crept into my hand, and I gazed over at him. "Thank you for doing this," He whispered, planting a kiss exposed skin where my neck and shoulder meet. I felt myself shiver, and nostalgia surge through me. It'd been some time since I'd felt his lips on my skin. But they felt familiar. I remained to ache for them.

My breath hitch, and I retracted an unsteady one, before replying, and allowing my hand intertwine into his. "I just hope you had a good time,"

He leaned in, and smiled brightly at me. "I did."

Before I was aware of my actions, I noticed I was leaning in, as well, my face only inches from his. I seeked the familiarity of his lips on mine.

My lids had already closed, expecting to taste Beck, when Cat suddenly screeched home. "Oh God! It's late! I have to be home in 20 minutes!"

Beck and I shot back, away from each other, startled.

"No worries, 'Lil Red." Andre said, coolly, pausing the movie. "We'll just do presents now." I attempted to catch my breath, but to no such avail.

Resentfully, I rolled from the bed and mozied over to the Christmas tree. Robbie was the first to assemble a wrapped gift, handing it to Cat, not to anyone's surprise. Her brown eyes lit up, as she unwrapped a Director's Cut version of her favorite movie, _Titanic_. She squealed and tackle-hugged Robbie from the crouching position to the floor of the RV.

"Thank you!" She exclaimed, and planted a kiss on his cheek. Robbie blushed a shade similar to Cat's hair color and a wide grin spread across his face, as he breathed, "You're welcome." I rolled my eyes in annoyance. She presented him with his gift of male makeup. Beck and Andre awkwardly looked away, as Robbie exclaimed several "thank you"'s to Cat, and raved over the fact that he'd never been able to find that color of blush before. I stifled a cruel comment. Tis the season, and all.

After recovering from her general excitement, Cat propped herself up, and handed me a box wrapped in pink paper. I cringed at the color, and handed her mine, wrapped in a deep purple colored paper. I fumbled with the papers for a second, before tearing into it with my nail. It was heavy. I brought the package and myself down to the floor, before revealing a packaged Keurig, coffee maker.

"I thought, with the baby, it would be hard to have time to make a whole pot of coffee," She explained, biting her lip, nervously. "I thought it would make things easier. For both of you." She paused for a moment, and looked at me skeptically. "Do you like it?"

I smiled. "Cat, I love it. This is great." I told her truthfully, rising to reward her with a hug.

A huge smile spread across her face, and she dug into my package. I'd gotten her several pink cases for her PearPhone, one with a cupcake on it, and another displaying a cartoon cat. She squealed in delight. "Thank you, Jadey!"

As she snapped on the phone case displaying the cat, she gasped, at the time. "Oh no! I really have to go."

Robbie quickly obliged to take her home. She gave away one last round of hugs before dashing out the door.

"And then there were three," Beck smirked, and I took the opportunity to present him with my gift, having settled on the Full House box set. He unwrapped it, and flashed me a large smile. "God, how'd you know?" He asked in mock surprise, with a laugh, before becoming serious again. "Thank you, Jade." And I grinned back.

Beck disappeared then to retrieve Andre and I's gifts. He reappeared a moment later, handing Andre a medium-sized box, and me a smaller one, both wrapped in blue wrapping paper. Andre began opening his first. It was a red scarf, and as he snaked it out of the box, and glanced it over, an envelope flew out. Andre picked it up from the floor, and peered at it curiously. Beck smiled and nodded at him to open it. He complied, and read aloud that they were two tickets to a Vancouver music festival.

"End of senior year. You and me, man." Beck explained.

Andre smiled, and admired the tickets. "Really?"

Beck nodded, smirking a bit. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. Forever the smug bastard. "Really." He confirmed.

"Thanks, man. Really. We're gonna have a lot of fun."

And suddenly, I found myself thinking of the end of senior year. Our baby would be born. We'd be graduating. Suddenly, all of these milestone events would be filing all together, and were coming up. Very soon. My breath hitched. It was so surreal to think about.

Beck's voice brought me out of my daze. "Jade, now you open yours."

I did. And was suddenly brought into a whole new sort of daze. Before my eyes danged a necklace, with an emerald looking stone diamond. I exhaled, admiring it.

"It's a Jade stone." Beck explained, and then traveled to me. He took the necklace from my hands and pulled my hair all to one side, before latching the hook of the necklace around my neck. I fingered the jewel, and smiled.

"Thank you, Beck. Oh my God. It's beautiful." I breathed.

And he smiled at me. "Of course. A beautiful necklace for a beautiful girl."

We stared at each other for a moment. I honesly couldn't believe he did this for me. It was so beautiful. _He_ was so beautiful.

From the corner of my eye, I witnessed Andre shifting uncomfortably. He cleared his throat. "Well," He announced, and Beck and I broke our trance, and allowed our gazes to shift to him. "I think I'm-a head out." With that, he grabbed his coat, told Beck, "Merry Christmas" and made his way to the door.

"Wait," I called, grabbing a remaining present from underneath the tree. "I'll walk you out." I smiled.

Beck and Andre both appeared surprised, but neither commented on it. I ignored them. Once Andre and I were outside, I slipped him the box. "Merry Christmas," I stated, lamely.

He accepted it, and began to unwrap the packaging. "I knew those damn Sling-Shot-Kids broke your old one. And that you and Robbie obviously didn't win that contest."

Andre gawked at me. "You got me a PearPad?!" I gave him a short nod. He abruptly pulled me into a hug.

"But I didn't get you anything."

"Yes, you did." I told him. "I haven't seen Beck look this happy in so long."

It occurred to me then that I was trying harder to be a good girlfriend than when I had actually been his girlfriend.I don't know what had possessed me, why I had longed for Beck to have a nice Christmas, why I wished to be kind to him, to see him happy. I'd witnessed the stress wearing on him. I think, subconsciously, I knew I was ruining his life, although I'd never admit it.

We pulled away, and I took a deep, shakily, breath. The brisk air erupted a plethora of goosebumps on the small amounts of bare skin I displayed. I rubbed my hands against my arms, seeking heat. "Thank you." I said, one last time, before I turned my back on him to retreat into the warmth of the RV.

Beck and I resumed _Elf_, and curled up into the twin-sized bed. And when his hand groggily searched for me in the middle of the night, I didn't swat them away, or roll out of his grasp. Although we were supposed to take things slow, and keep everything uncomplicated, and although his touch magnified the baby's movements, and he or she began to kick an uncomfortable amount, I allowed his hands on me. Because I couldn't find myself caring about any of these obstacles. Instead, I just drifted to sleep, to the background noise of _Elf_, and the ever so beating of Beck's heart, pressed against my back.

* * *

**Sorry it took so long to update. Lil bit of Cabbie fluff, some Jandre goin on, and lots of Bade fluff, so I hope you guys liked it even though nothing consequential truly happened in this chapter. **

**Remember to keep reviewing and add in your reviews whether you think Jade is right and the baby will be a boy, or that Beck is right and the baby will be a girl. Also, add name suggestions into your reviews. **

**Thanks so much.**


	11. Chapter 11

**Sorry it took me so long to update this chapter. Been busy, whatever, insert meaningful excuse here, yada yada yada. I know you guys don't really care, so here's the chapter: **

* * *

It was the first day back to school from winter break and the aroma of normalcy was returning. Zombie students walked the halls, deep bags beneath their eyes, and the open mouthed yawn permanently embedded on their faces. Not a bright eye in the building. Including mine. Safe to say I had thoroughly fucked up my sleeping schedule during Christmas break.

"Guess Sikowitz ain't showin' up today." Andre sighed.

It was now twenty minutes into fourth period, Sikowitz's class, who seemed to not be present today.

"HA! Who could blame him?" Rex piped from Robbie's lap.

I sit back, sipping my daily cup of coffee, in silence, attempting to drone them out. Beck was at my side, combat booted feet propped up onto a free chair. He was quiet, as well, probably sleeping, or attempting to. I couldn't muster up the energy to glance his way and confirm my theory.

"Maybe we should go look for him?" I suddenly heard Tori suggest.

"Vega, when you get an excuse to slack off and do nothing, don't question it." I hissed.

A chorus of "Yeah's" flooded the room and I smiled, triumphantly.

"But what if Sikowitz is in some sort of trouble?" A naïve Cat wailed.

Eye roll. "He's probably still nursing a hangover from his New Year's escapades. Crazy hippie."

"God knows I am. Those Northridge girls are cra-a-azy." Moaned Rex. Jesus. Get me out of here.

"Rex, stop. That's highly inappropriate," chastised Robbie.

From my right, I felt Beck jerk and mutter some inaudible noise. Yep, definitely asleep.

"Well, good morning, sleeping beauty," I murmured, tone flat, finally finding the slight bit of energy to turn his way.

Although he had only been sleeping in class, his bedhead remained undeniable. He rubbed his tired eyes, sheepishly. Why was he so damn adorable? Ugh.

"Morning," he grinned at me, and eyed my coffee. "Mind if I steal a drink of that?"

He reached out for the cup and I scowled at him. "Uh, uh, uh, mister. I only get one of these a day. I cannot waste a precious drop on the likes of you." I took a taunting swig.

Beck frowned at me. "But I'm exhausted. Please."

Not impressive. "Not my fault you were up all night watching your Full House DVD's." I said, a bit louder, and gained the attention of several half slumbering classmates.

His frown deepened and he widened his eyes slightly at me. "Can you lower your tone?" He pleaded, through clenched teeth.

I shrugged and tipped back the coffee, the sweet liquid grazing my lips. "Mmm," I smiled. "So good."  
Beck lowered his eyes at me. "What do you want?"

I smirked. "Tell you what; you'll buy me a brand new cup at lunch if I give you the rest of this one."

"Fine," he grumbled, snatching the cup from my hands.

He was far too easy. I sat back, victoriously, and rested my heavy eyes from the remainder of the class period.

Once the bell commenced that class was over and Sikowitz had failed to show, we escaped the seemingly stuffy classroom and the crisp winter air assaulted my bare arms. Although Hollywood was typically warm, the weather was uncharacteristically brisk and unwelcomingly cold today. I slipped my leather jacket on as Beck and I approached an empty table and took a seat.

"Before you get too comfortable, remember our little wager, Oliver."

Beck smiled a small smile and got up to retrieve me a coffee.

"Two sugars!" I shouted at him.

"I know what to do!" He hollered back, as he walked away.

I was blessed with only mere moments of silence before Cat took a seat across from me. "Hi!" she smiled, setting down her sandwich and Wahoo punch.

"Are you not getting any food?" Her eyebrows knit together in concern.

"I'm getting coffee," I told her, attempting not to sound incredibly happy about it, although it was difficult to make coffee _not _sound amazing.

She took a hearty bite of her sandwich. And gazed up in time to realize I was watching her. "Want some?" She asked, mouth full of whatever contents filled the bread…tuna, maybe?

I shook my head vigorously, suddenly feeling somewhat nauseated.

Suddenly, my PearPhone began vibrating to life from my lap. I nearly jumped and brought my phone into the light as I read the number of the unknown caller through the glare of the sun against my screen. I didn't recognize the number, so I pressed "_Ignore"._

"Jade, eat my chips." Cat demanded in a sing song voice as she pushed the plastic bag my way.

I frowned at the potato chips. They did not look at all appetizing. "Nah, I'm good."

The petite redhead's frown deepened. Her bottom lip began to quiver and before I knew what the hell was happening, she erupts into a ballad of sobs and whimpers. "But Jadey! You _have _to eat! Otherwise, the baby will starve and I _won't _be Aunt Cat!" she continued to cry and passer byers stared at her incredulously.

"Cat!" I hissed through clenched teeth, leaning across the table. "Be _calm." _

It was difficult to remember the last occurrence Cat was _this _hormonal. She remained to have frequent outburst, but they hadn't surpassed manageable in quite some time. I idly wondered why she was throwing a temper tantrum, like one of a two year old, but disregarded the fact and decided to focus on getting her to _shut the hell up._

Although I'd retired the constant hoodie since winter break and today had dared to wear a lose purple tank top, and a good majority of the student body was aware of my pregnancy (what the hell is a secret in Hollywood anyway), I still didn't need her shouting in the Asphalt Café about me _starving _my growing fetus. I think my peers hated me enough.

What the fuck was taking Beck so long?

Is this what it was life to have a small child? They'll just start making a grand scene in public that depicts you as some awful person because you can't find a way to shut your damn kid up? Because _ugh._

But her incessant sobbing clearly refused to cease until I ate a damn chip, so I did exactly that, and her obnoxious crying transformed into a merely mildly obnoxious sniffling.

"There! Are you happy?" I asked, swallowing my mouthful of chip.

She laughed, lightly. "Kinda." And she wiped away various tears caught on her tanned cheeks.

My phone buzzed yet again, and I immediately glared down at the screen. It popped up in big bright letters: _New Voicemail._ I groaned.

"I'll be back," I announced, and with that, I propped myself up from the table and stalked off to a not so populated area of campus.

I pressed "_Listen" _on my keypad and immediately froze at the voice who came on the speaker and filled my ears.

It was my father.

.

Beck found me several minutes later with a frown on his face and no coffee in hands.

"Where did you go?" He asked, his brows furrowing. He sounded as if he were out of breath and clutched to his chest to steady his rapid heartbeat. "I got back to the table and Cat looked like she'd been crying and wouldn't tell me anything and you were just—gone."

I didn't speak for a moment, and for some reason, he continued to ramble, clearly frazzled, seeming to run hand after hand through that fluffy hair of his.

"God, you're so pale. What happened? Is the baby okay?"

It took me a moment to finally comprehend his words. I grasped my stomach as he mentioned our baby, and nodded, dumbfounded.

"The baby is okay." I told him, finding my gaze present on the pavement.

"Jade," He breathed, placing his hands on either side of my shoulders. "_What _is happening? You're scaring me."

And I could tell I was by the wild look in his eyes.

"My dad called," I finally stated.

I witnessed mild relief in Beck's pools of brown, but a crease remained embedded between his eyebrows as he stared at me straight on. "What did he say?"

I swallowed hard.

"He, uh, he told me he wants to take me out to dinner. He said my mom got bad again and he wants to talk about it over dinner."

.

At my request, we didn't speak of the lunch incident again until the end of the day. It was the ride home from Hollywood Arts in which Beck began to pry me with questions.

"What does _getting bad_ mean, Jade?"

I bit down feverishly on my lower lip. "I really don't know. I won't until I call him. It could mean anything—really."

I sighed and propped my face into my palm, leaning against the passenger side window.

Beck took one hand off the steering wheel, and awkwardly placed it on my thigh. I didn't have the heart to shake him off.

"Just try not to get stressed—not until we know what this is about."

I didn't reply, but took his words and attempted to obey him, taking deep breaths and running my fingers through my hair ever so often.

Once we entered the RV, I excused myself and walked outside. I wanted to talk to my father in somewhat of a private environment. So I walked along the gardened path near Beck's driveway as I dialed the foreign number into my keypad.

I vaguely felt Beck's mother's glare from the window of his house's living room, but quickly disregarded it. I didn't have time for her shit. Too busy with my own mother's.

Suddenly, a very formal: "Hello? Jadelyn?"

"Yeah, it's me." I told him, my voice much more vulnerable than I had intended.

"I'm pleased you called me back." His business voice was sickening to me. I spent the whole time shifting from leg to leg just fucking praying my mother's heart was still beating while he wasted time, to preoccupied with pleasantries.

Impatient, I hurried him. "What's going on with Mom? Is she okay?"

He sighed deeply into the receiver. "I'd much rather discuss the details of your mother over dinner."

"Yeah, well, there will be _no _such dinner if you don't tell me what the fuck is going on _right now." _

I began to yell and this time knew that the elder Oliver's were peering out on me from the warmth of their home, dastard expressions on their faces.

"Very suitable language for a mother to be," Roy reprimanded me, his voice disdain.

I rolled my eyes, even though I knew he couldn't see it.

"Just tell me if my mom is okay," I pleaded, after a moment of silence.

"She'll be okay, Jadelyn. I promise. She just—" he paused, and I could tell he was doing that thing he did where he pinched the bridge of his nose, once he felt a migraine coming on. "She had another episode."

From a distance, I saw that Beck had peeled the blinds from the window of his RV back, and was watching me, as well, a look of concern coating his features. Damn, these Olivers were nosy.

"I really would prefer to discuss the rest of this at dinner, face to face. I could pick you up at seven—when I get off from work, if you could just send me the address of which you're staying."

"I'll drive myself." I cut him off. "Just send me the address of whatever swanky restaurant we're going to." I told him, before hanging up.

As I whipped around, all of the Olivers disappeared sheepishly behind the curtains, drawing back from the scene I had made and back into their lives.

.

"Are you sure you don't want me to go with you?" Beck asked me for the umpteenth time.

And also for the umpteenth time, I nodded my head at him and reminded him I was sure.

"I have to do this by myself." I repeated, unsure if I was trying to convince him or myself, moreso. "And besides, I don't want him thinking we're back together. Or that I'm mooching off you and your place."

There was a twinge of hurt displayed clearly on Beck's place but he quickly shook it away into one of pure amusement. I decided I didn't have the time, nor the energy to question it.

"You're not 'mooching' off me, Jade. I like having you here." He told me this often, but I never could bring myself to believe him. Who the hell would want their ex-girlfriend living with them, constantly lurking in the depths of his business, sleeping in the _same _bed with him?

His gaze dropped from my eyes to my protruding belly. I realized that was it. He wanted me here because of the baby—because of _his _baby. The only reason he cared about me was because of _him_. Beck was concerned with his son's well-being, not mine. And once my pregnancy expired, so would this special treatment.

It was surprising how difficult it was to admit that to myself. But I disregarded it, realizing I had much more potent things to trouble my mind than everlasting pangs directed towards my ex.

.

I was right—about the restaurant being swanky. It was extravagant, to say the least.

The lighting was dim and the environment withheld a bit of a romantic setting, which made it slightly creepy I was meeting my father here. The hostess asked me my name as I entered. I figured the reservation would be under "West" and I told her so.

Upon entering, I realized I was exceedingly underdressed. I wore one of my last black jeans that fit my expanding abdomen area and a lose black sweater, swapping my usual black combat boots for black leather instead, which were exceedingly tight due to the intense swell of my feet. He can't say I didn't try.

"Ah, right, West. Follow me this way." And I did, through what seemed to be a maze of dimly lit dining halls and separate rooms. Finally, she led me to a table clothed table, seating my father and stepmother.

Although I knew this was over a serious matter, I was slightly disappointed when I realized, Alex, my thirteen year old brother would not be joining us. I hardly ever got to see him anymore, for he lived with my father and was legally within his custody, as I was with my mother. It wasn't either of our faults they split us in two and pawned us off like their money. But it was still shitty.

My stepmother, Gabrielle's, expression towards my demeanor was priceless. She appeared appalled. I smirked, but then noted my father's grim appearance, and my face became blank.

I sat down, and we seemed to skip all forms of pleasantries, because we sat in silence until ordering, and then my father began talking a million miles a minute, all while keeping up his formal stature.

"I'm afraid that your mother has been institutionalized once more. She hasn't been taking here medicine—" (big surprise there) "and had an episode."

I frowned at him, and remained speechless as they brought out our salads.

Once the waiter disappeared, I stared him square in the face. "By episode—do you mean she tried to kill herself again?"

Gabrielle nearly gasped at my bluntness and I stifled an eye roll. My father merely nodded, eyes gleamed.

"How'd she do it?" I asked dryly, suddenly not hungry at all, although I truly had felt rather nauseous all day.

"Jade, sweetie, that's really not—"

"I want to know." I snapped at my supposed stepmother with a glare.

My father didn't bullshit me. That was one thing I'd always admired about him. One meniscal thing that didn't overshadow all the things I detested about the main, but still.

"She overdosed on some pain pills." His tone was flat, but his eyes indicated his sorrow. And what was that? Remorse? Roy West feeling guilty? That's rich.

Although he would never say it out loud—he truly did remain to care about my mother. He simply couldn't be with her anymore. It's not like I'd blamed him, for leaving her. I just didn't ever truly understand why that meant leaving me.

I nodded, and as tears filled my eyes, I quickly looked down and shook them away. "I see." I said, my voice breaking on the last syllable.

"Where is she?" I asked after a moment. "Can I—Can I see her?"

My father's mouth formed a line, not quite a frown. It was an emotionless line. "No. Not yet. The doctors feel it's best if she waits a while to see anyone."

Betrayal rushed through me, as did anger. "But I'm her daughter."

"I know, Jadelyn. That's not what I said. It's what the doctors said."

My eyes welled up in tears once more and I couldn't rid them of the moisture this time. "But—" a shattered sob separated my words. "It's my fault." I whispered.

Gabrielle extended her hand to place on mine, and gave me a sympathetic look. "No, no, honey. It's not. Don't say that."

I ripped my hand from underneath hers. "I'm not your _honey!"_

We earned the attention of several eyes throughout the restaurant and my father bid me with a threatening glower.

My lips formed that same expressionless line, matching the one my father had previously worn as I attempted to take ahold of myself. We were all quiet for several minutes, and I refused to look either of them in the eye.

"There was something else, Jadelyn." Roy began, but I was too busy memorizing the thread count of the table cloth. He carried on, any who. "We were wondering if you would like to move in with us." This, however, earned my attention. "We would support you—and your baby. I want to be a part of my grandchild's life, and a part of your life."

I hid whatever desire I once had to fulfill a rewarding relationship with my father behind my poker face that consisted of a glare. He wouldn't break me—not here, not now.

"I think it's just too little, too late, Roy. "

"Jade, I know I wasn't the best father to you. But I want to try—if you'd let me."

I chuckled a long, cynical laugh that withheld no humor. "I can't do this." And I stood up, nearly bumping my stomach on the hardwood of the table. I winced at the short impact and turned my back on the duo of gold-digger and gold-digee.

"Jade, wait! Please give us a chance!" Gabrielle screeched as I walked away.

But I ignored her. I held my head high, and I didn't look back.

What they didn't realize is I didn't need my daddy anymore. I didn't need anyone. Life had matured me thoroughly. I was my own person and no belated cheesy relationship with my absentee father was going to change that. I'd never truly belonged to any of them anyway.

I was nobody's daughter. And I didn't give a damn.

* * *

**Not sure how I feel about this, lots darker than I intended. **

**whatever. **

**If you enjoyed this darkness, you should check out my other story: You and I Will Never Be Nothing, which contains lots of Bade and Jori/Cade friendship. That's partly the reason it took me so long to publish this. I was rather focused on that.**

**Shameless**** self promotion. Deal with it. **

**Please review this chapter, it means a lot. **


	12. Chapter 12

It'd been two years since my mother's latest episode, since she'd gotten bad again, so I supposed it was only a matter of time.

But recollection of the last time dawned within the confines of my head on my rain-ridden drive home. And for some reason, I couldn't shake the memories. I couldn't pass the blame. I couldn't dissolve the guilt. Because that time—was also my fault.

It was my sophomore year at Hollywood Arts, and Beck and I had almost been dating for a year. It seemed like an eternity—when you were fifteen. The first few times I'd stayed the night at his RV were merely an accident—we fell asleep, lost track of time—but, it didn't matter to my mother. All she knew was that her fifteen year old daughter was dating a boy who had his own place, and was spending the night over there. As a soon to be mother now, I really couldn't blame her-for being angry. I'd probably be livid. But fifteen year old Jade could blame her—easily.

_"Are you two having sex?!" She shrieked at me, face red, emerald eyes wild. _

_"What?" I asked, my voice rising in disbelief, as I walked through the front door of my house that morning, shoes in hand-having stayed the night at Beck's for the third time, on accident._

_"Are. You. Having. Sex?" My mother asked slower and quieter, although somehow, angrier. _

_I rolled my eyes. "No. We fell asleep, okay?" and attempted to walk past her. _

_But she followed me. _

_"No, not okay!" The woman practically bellowed, and I gritted my teeth, her behavior unnerving me. "Jade, you are fifteen years old. You don't need to be getting serious with this boy. And believe me when I say, boys are only after one thing at this age. I'm sorry, sweetie. It's the ugly truth."_

"_Mom, in case you haven't notice. I am serious with this boy. And I can guarantee sex isn't all he wants from me. Beck and I have been dating for almost a year, and I.." She looked at me expectantly, eyes wide. "I love him," I murmured, for the first time out loud. _

_She practically laughed in my face. "You don't love him. You're fifteen." _

"_Thank you. I wasn't aware how old I was, but thank you for clarifying." I walked around her yet again, rounding up the large staircase that led to my bedroom. _

_My mother was hot on my heels. "I mean it, Jade. Please—" Her tone softened now. "Please don't do anything to ruin your life. You have so much potential."_

_I whipped around. "The only thing this boy has done to my life is make it a hell of a whole lot better. I think if anyone is ruining my life—it's you. It's you and that fucking ex-husband of yours." My words radiating poison. They were daggers and I watched as they stabbed into her. The look of hurt on her face was evident. It contorted her beautiful features. _

_Then, her hand arose, and she slapped me across the face._

I would never tell Beck the precise reason behind why I had made the decision that we should have sex. For 1—I did want to. And it was our one year anniversary, and I did trust him and loved him very much. But I would never tell him the deal-breaker, the sole reason that had made up my mind.

Attempting to prove to my lunatic of a mother that my relationship with him _was _real, that I _did _love him, and I was fairly certain he loved me back.

We were in the RV the first time, and I stayed the night afterwards. I went to sleep, feeling pure bliss, because I was right. He admitted his love for me after we had finished.

The following morning, I walked home—shoes in hand, like the other times. My mother met me at the door, a look of fury overtaking her.

"_Jadelyn August West, you promised me. You fucking promised me."_

_I shot her a smug look, and diverted around her. She had her hands on her hips, and wore her business suit she'd worn yesterday. From the looks of the prominent dark circles beneath her eyes, she hadn't slept. _

"_Sorry," I purred, smirking. _

"_What the hell is that?!" She jabbed a finger at the marks on my neck that Beck had left. _

_I fingered it mockingly. "Oh, a hickey." I provided, smiling brightly. _

_Her eyes widened in disbelief. "Don't tell me that boy gave that to you." _

Call me a sociopath. Call me a bitch. Call me whatever the fuck you want. Maybe I'm not so different from my mother, in all actuality. But I wanted to rub her face in it—that Beck loved me, that he'd stay with me, that sex wasn't all he was after. So I did just that. And it set her off the deep end.

"_Why, he had to have something to bite onto in a moment of intense pleasure." I told her, snidely, raising both eyebrows simultaneously in a suggestive manner. _

_Her eyes widened horrifically. "Jadelyn, you didn't." She breathed, grasping at the air in an attempt to steady herself._

_And I smiled, like a maniac. Like a sociopath. Like a psychopath. "But I did, Mother." I reminded her, and laughed a dark chuckle. "And it wasn't bad. Not like they all tell you it will be. It was actually kind of…good. Not to say I had an orgasm or anything. But," I smirked. "There's always next time."_

_I expected a slap. But then she began to sob and told me to go to my room. _

_I didn't remorseful. Not until I found her thirty minutes later on the bathroom floor covered in the blood from her gaping wrists._

.

A week had passed since the disastrous dinner with my father. He'd called me at least twenty three times since, and each, I'd pressed the hand little button on my phone that read: _Ignore._ And with that, received a never ending plethora of voicemails I refused to listen to.

Beck had been attempting to pry what had happened out of me. All I'd told him was that my mother was okay—for the most part—and was in a psychiatric hospital again. He was constantly wishing to gather more information, but each time, I did what I was best at. I shut him out.

I hadn't been going to school, or eating much, really. Bed-ridden, with a side of heartbroken and guilty tears was the premise of my daily routine. I didn't cry around Beck—or at least I tried my hardest not to, although some silent tears did escape my eyes in his presence, but I don't think he noticed. For some diluted reason, part of me still attempted to put up a strong front around Beck. This cause was lost, clearly. He sees me how I really am now—weak. He must think I'm so pathetic.

I heard the not-so-subtle-slamming of the RV's door, causing my eyes to snap open robotically. Discarding his book bag to the couch, and making his way to the bed, Beck muttered a "Hey," although his voice sounded distracted.

My lips pursed in response and I propped myself up on my elbows. He joined me in the bed, unexpectedly, and gently swatted at me until I shifted to make room for him. A sigh escaped his mouth as he brought the comforter up and draped it over our bodies. We were facing each other, and I couldn't help but stare into his beautiful pools of brown, as he gazed intently in my direction.

I hoped our baby had those eyes. They were so beautiful. At that moment, I decided that everything I had ever loved was in those eyes, and then went on to chastise my inner monologue for being so damn cheesy, and for thinking so lovingly of my ex-boyfriend.

"How is it that you haven't showered in like, three days, and you still smell so good?" He said suddenly, face blank.

"You're delusional." I told him, and I received a short smile, though it didn't touch his eyes.

We lay, silence permeating the air for several more minutes, though this time, I refused to meet his eyes. They appeared so sullen, and it tore me up inside.

"Will you eat something?" A glimmer of hope radiated within his voice.

I bit down on my lip. "I'm not hungry." I told him, honestly. But I should eat. I wanted to eat. I knew I needed to—if not for my own nutritional need, then for my baby's, but every time I attempted to shove food into my mouth, I thought of my mother, how I had driven her to wish to take her own life—twice—and then became very nauseous.

When I looked up at Beck, he was staring at me with evident disgust in his eyes. And I frowned back, and when he shook his head at me, disdainfully, I felt as if I might cry.

"Get me some grapes, or something?" I requested, my voice hoarse.

He slipped from underneath the blanket, and came back not two minutes later with a bowl of grapes, and a glass of iced water. As I forced the fruit down, with a gulp of water, he stood over me and watched with concentration.

When I finished, he took the bowl from me, and set it in the sink, before returning with a re-fill of the water, and setting next to me on the bed.

I was sipping on the last few drinks of the second glass when he finally said something.

"I wish you would let me in, Jade."

A deep breath. _Don't cry,_ I reminded myself. _Just don't fucking cry. _

"I meant what I said—you know—in the house, to my parents."

I still didn't say anything, although my heart began to race a million miles a minute. I told it to shut up, to calm down. But it didn't listen.

He placed a hand on mine. I felt my breath hitch, but still, didn't look at him. I stared straight ahead, knowing my strong-willed attempts to distance myself from him were faltering, but unable to find a reason to care much anymore.

"I still love you, Jade. I always will. I mean that, okay? Believe me when I say that I never will stop loving you. And no matter what is going on—with or parents, or our friends, or our child—I'm still gonna love you, okay? Please. Just know that."

And I slammed my eyes shut, as the tears came, and collapsed into his lap, broken sobs shaking my frame. And he held me, steadied me, and soon, he was kissing me. And I let him.

"It's all my fault." I choked out.

He stroked his hands through my tangled hair. "No, baby, it's not." Even though I wasn't entirely sure he knew what I was talking about.

Then he leaned in, and I didn't push him away. I should have, but I didn't. I allowed him to press those beautiful lips into mine, and pressed mine eagerly into his.

I don't know how the hell I thought I could ever resist that boy.

Just like when I was fifteen, I loved him. Even after all of my failed attempts to push him away, I love him. I will love this boy for the rest of my days.

And just like when I was fifteen, I knew he loved me back. But this time—I didn't feel like I needed to prove it to anyone. It was enough for me to just know, to feel loved.

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**Yay for Bade fluff at the end.**

**Review, review, review. **


	13. Chapter 13

The rekindling of our romance only truly triggered one impending thought in my head: _I'm screwed. Again._

Again, have I not only allowed myself to fall under the spell of Beck Oliver, but go willingly into his manipulative grasp. I was _so_ one of those cliché girls from those epic romance novels. I was Bella Swan. I had transformed into everything I hated. But for some reason, I really didn't care.

Because Beck was worth it. He would never stop being worth it, as much as I loathed to admit it. Every ounce of heartache, every screaming match, every night I'd spent crying myself to sleep was worth it. It all lead us to this moment.

To these blissful mornings of waking up in his arms in our own shitty little RV, his arms wrapped around my waist and hands cupped over my increasingly growing stomach, his hot breath on my neck, whispering sweet nothing's into my ear, causing my heart rate to accelerate greatly.

"I love you, Jade West." And there would be a sincere smile in his voice that made my heart swell with such wonder and I couldn't rid myself of the urge to grin a ridiculously large grin, and twist my body just enough to plant a kiss on his supple lips.

It was cheesy. _So _cheesy to the point that the pessimistic part of my chastised every little peck, every 'I love you', every damned butterfly that linger in my stomach. But dammit, was it beautiful. I couldn't remember the last time I'd been so in love with him.

And I knew it wasn't ideal. I knew I'd wanted to wait, and eventually we would have to talk this through, to reinstate our grounds and solve our issues. But for now, I would call a cease fire in our everyday battles, and allow lazy mornings entangled in each other's arms. Because I needed this. I really fucking needed this. I needed to be wrapped in his plaid flannel shirt. And to fall asleep on his chest, with nothing but the quiet lull of crickets outside and his heartbeat sounding in my ears. I needed to hold his hand in public, intertwine our fingers, and let everyone know he was mine. And I didn't intend on letting him go. Not this time.

I felt myself smiling more. A glimmer of hope fluttered within me each time I thought of our future, of how brilliant bright it would be. I didn't feel the pain for a moment or two. I didn't think about my mom, for the moment. I just thought of happiness. Of him, and me, and our beautiful, _healthy _baby.

We were out of the woods.

But then, the alarm sounded throughout the RV. Beck cursedly slammed his knuckle against the snooze button, and I shot up from my sleeping position, being torn away from my glorious dream. I frowned a deep-set frown, and rolled out of the bed, to get ready for our doctor's appointment.

"I'm worried about how little weight you're gaining."

"I have some concerns about your stress levels."

"Have you been getting enough sleep?"

"Have you been eating enough?"

Questions I was bombarded with at our next doctor's appointment. My once mellow and understanding doctor was suddenly a picture of hostility.

We weren't out of the woods. Not just yet.

"I'm concerned for your baby's health, Jade."

I sat on the edge of the cool tempered exam table and gnawed on my lip, nervously. Beck's gentle pools of brown went wild. My palms felt sweaty. Even though I didn't sweat. I rubbed them against the tightening fabric of my jeans.

"I-I've—it's just…Family life has been a little crazy lately." I placed a self-conscious hand on my belly.

"Is the baby okay?" Beck asked—stuttered. He kept running his hands through his tousled hair. I expected him to eventually take one of mine. But he never did.

"Yes, right now. But your baby is smaller than I would like far in the pregnancy Jade is. I would just like to see a little more weight gain." A crease permanently lingered between her shaped eyebrows as she flipped through the charts that displayed mine and the baby's vitals.

Dr. Roberts gazed up at me. "You're in the middle of your second trimester. This is what many refer to as the _Honeymoon Period, _because the nausea and mood swings somewhat subside, and you're not into the awkward area of discomfort yet. Just remember to keep yourself calm, and try to relax." She paused, and sighed a small sigh. "I know it's difficult to be teen parents, but please, just try to _relax._" Stepping forward in a quick strode, she placed a hand on Beck's shoulder. "Talk to the daddy about things. Let him help you."

But he _had _tried to help me. He was always trying to help me. And I pushed him away. Because that's what I always found myself doing. And I had no idea why. Forever terrified to let anyone in. How's that for the fearless Jade West? I could feel my breath speeding up and reminded myself to stay calm. _My fault _kept echoing through my mind.

Beck and I took solace in one another. But it didn't cease any of our issues. I would make a comment about how I thought he slept with Tori. Then he would angrily deny it and attempt to tell me about what _did _occur that night and I would decide I was acting immaturely, or _he _was acting immaturely, and realize my stress levels couldn't handle any of this. And then we would have sex. And I would feel better for a period of an hour and a half or so. But then, the next issue would reappear, and it the cycle would occur once more.

Beck swallowed hard and nodded a second late, clearly uneased. I examined him and frowned. Not only did he look upset, but he also radiated another emotion: anger.

And I knew exactly why. I hadn't been eating enough. I hadn't had an appetite. I haven't worked hard to keep my stress levels down. Not at all. I haven't been getting enough sleep. My regrets kept me up half the night. I'd been wallowing in self-pity when I should have been concerned about the health of my baby. The anger that he was so clearly feeling towards me, I also felt towards myself.

"You said you've felt some movement in there?" She asked me, her grim expression fading, but only slightly.

I nodded, her question momentarily snapping out of my ever churning thoughts and gripped my stomach tighter. "Yeah, a little. Not very much though. Just little flutters."

"Yes, that's what we call 'quickening.'" Dr. Roberts set down her clip board on the counter top and moved closer to me. "We like to do another test around this time, when the baby's progression is in it's prime and it begins to move."

"What's it for?" I asked, a bit too snarkily, out of habit… or impulse. Remembrance of the tests I'd had to endure in the beginning of my first trimester came to mind. Screenings for down syndrome, spina bifida. Topics that had sufficiently racked my nerves. But somehow, this time, the confines of my stomach churned further. I felt more nervous. Perhaps that was because at that point, before, I wasn't entirely certain I wanted this baby. Now I can't think of anything I wanted more.

My doctor tried to smile. I watched her lips attempt to turn up in a happy manner, but some element just wasn't there. It couldn't be completed. And her lips faltered into a dastardly thin line. Something felt wrong. Something felt _bad. _But perhaps I was simply imagining things, as a result of exhaustion. Or perhaps I was going insane.

"It's just a screening for gestational diabetes. Very procedure. Most women have it done at this stage."

Beck shifted his weight from one combat booted foot to the other. Why was he so antsy? Did he think this wasn't such a routine test? That something was wrong with our baby? This time I took the initiative and leaned forward to grasp his hand. But he shook me away.

Dr. Roberts watched the exchange with wary eyes. "You shouldn't worry too much. The main risk factors are obesity, being over twenty five years old, or having a family history of diabetes. And none of these apply to you." Insert fake smile here.

Beck and I both took our turns nodding slowly, and somewhat dumbfounded. She clapped her hands together. "Let's get started then."

We were instructed to wait in the exam room whilst Dr. Roberts retrieved the materials needed for the test. She'd been right. It was a non-invasive, very simple screening. I will sip on a sugary drink, mostly made up of glucose, (which may or may not make me sick, and judging from my stomach's latest track run, I was betting on the nausea), and about an hour later, Roberts would perform a blood test to decipher whether or not my baby may be a risk for diabetes.

I continued to gnaw on my lower lip as Beck and I were left to our lonesome. He didn't speak. Instead, he buried his face into his palms.

"Beck?" I said, just above a whisper. He didn't acknowledge me.

"Beck." I said again, in a sterner tone.

He looked up, and it wasn't until that moment that I realized just how _exhausted _he looked. Purple bags draped beneath his lovely half-open chocolate brown eyes. His hair was a disheveled mess. His olive skin looked bleak, paler. He looked like shit. I wondered how dastard I must have appeared.

"It's gonna be okay,"

"Is it?" He asked, in a condescending tone.

I frowned, and before I could muster up a descent reply to his doubtfulness, Dr. Roberts strode back into the room, holding the sugary distilled drink in her hands. She passed it to me gently. "Drink up," and I didn't protest this time.

I took a swig of the liquid and scowled. Dr. Roberts chuckled heartily. Beck's face remained to be emotionless—stone.

"Beck, do you think I could talk to you outside for a moment?" He nodded at her request, and my eyes shifted back and forth between the two.

"Make sure you drink as much as you can." She demanded before shutting the door behind them.

I did as I was told. This was rare. But I also crept towards the door on the tip of my bare feet, having convinced myself I needed to hear what they were saying. Or what was being said about me.

Their voices echoed softly down the hall. They talked in hushed tones, but I strained my ears to make sense of their words, all while continuing to attempt sipping on the disgusting overly sugar-y beverage.

"Is she intentionally not eating?" She asked Beck, her voice less abrasive than usual.

Beck didn't say anything for a moment. I idly wondered if he was paying much attention. He had seemed somewhat out of it earlier, wandering around in some type of daze. "What do you mean?" He finally asked, a gentle rasp taking hold of his voice, that in any other circumstance I would find undeniably sexy.

"I mean, is Jade concerned about her weight? Is she fasting?" My stomach churned, and response, I placed a nurturing hand over my belly, as if to say: _I'm not. I would never do that to you._

"No. I mean, I don't think so. I think she's just been too stressed out to eat."

I could picture him running his hand through his hair, robotically, and almost smiled, in spite of myself and the current situation.

"I noticed the scars… On her forearms." She told him, almost sheepishly.

A beat. I see him nodding in my head. Or perhaps running another hand through his mop of hair. Some nervous habit of his. Because if anything on this Earth made Beck Oliver uncomfortable, it would be this topic.

"Mm, yeah. She used to… self-harm." It sounded painful for him to say. And I felt a sudden pang in my chest, an urge to wrap him up in my tainted arms.

I winced and glared at the fleshy dark and white lines that would always betray me.

"And you know for certain she doesn't do that anymore?"

"I know she would never intentionally hurt this baby."

He stressed the word _intentionally. _As if I was. Already. Only not intentionally. Which didn't make it any sort of better.

I stopped listening then. I retreated back to the makeshift hospital table-like thing, and laid down on my side, clenching my stomach and chest as I began to shake uncontrollably. I stopped listening to the conversation then. Because I couldn't anymore. Because I couldn't hear anything over the sound of my sobs that began to fill the shallow air.

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**yeah, so this is short. And somewhat shitty. My apologies. I'm probably gonna publish another chapter later this week that's a lot better/eventful. Don't give up on me quite yet. and sorry for the lack of updates lately. I was away on spring break and then the first week back to school was hell and prom and my birthday are soon, and whateva, (lots of excuses) sorry** **again, guys. **

**noooow**

**REVIEW**


	14. Chapter 14

"Are you mad at me?" I asked, quietly, when we were nearly home. I'd spent the majority of the ride keeping toll of the rain drop race that was occurring down my window. I chose my opening to speak with strategy, hoping to avoid a screaming match, knowing that if said screaming match occurred, I could quickly disappear into the trailer.

"I don't know," he grunted, as we pulled into his neighborhood.

He relieved the ignition of the key and proceeded to lean his head solemnly against the steering wheel, upon parking along the narrow drive. I bit my lip and watched him, searching for any indication of shaking, of sobs. But his heavy, yet steady breathing was all I heard. I hesitantly reached my hand outward and awkwardly stroked his disheveled hair. He jumped at the sudden interaction, and slowly peered up at me.

"Talk to me." I commanded softly.

Beck began to fiddle with his thumbs, stare straight forward, out the windshield, glance out the window, study the dashboard, anything not to look me in the eye.

"I can't tell if I'm mad at you…Or if I'm mad at myself."

I bit my tongue when it threatened to question. Not contradict why he may feel this way, but question. I quickly decided before the word _"why"_ formulated on my lips to give him a minute, await the explanation rather than demand it. An impeccable task for me. Fighting against the urge to speak. And as I sighed deeply and padded my polished black nails against the base of the truck's middle console, I realize patience was never one of my strong suits.

"I'm a selfish person, Jade." His voice broke on my name.

"I already knew that," I muttered, staring out the passenger's window, admiring the traveling rain drops, as the dark haired Mrs. Oliver peered out at us from her warm and dry parlor. Her husband appeared behind her in a matter of seconds, staring widely at me with the irises of brown that matched Beck's. I suddenly felt the temptation to flip them off.

When I turned back to Beck, he was staring at me—well, frowning at me—from the driver's seat. I arose my eyebrows in question and when he just shook his head solemnly, and departed from the truck and stalked angrily to his RV, I realized there had been a moment there (more like a second) and I had ruined it.

We didn't speak many words to one another for the remainder of that rainy evening. Beck prepared us grilled cheese sandwiches. I smiled a short _"thank you"_ and ate heartily to prove some point that I wasn't entirely sure existed outside of my head. He slept on the couch, and I, the bed, although it didn't hold its usual comfort. I went to sleep and dreamt of my mom drowning in that white sugar-y liquid.

* * *

The next morning, a Thursday, I awoke with a newfound initiative. After my attempts to shake Beck awake had failed, I retrieved a glass of chilled water topour on his head.

"What the fuck?" He muttered, as he shot up. But I immediately cut him off.

"I am pregnant with your child, so here's how it's gonna work from now on: this will be a stress-free environment. You will not argue with me. I'm in a bad mood? Let me cool down. Don't pick pointless fights with me. Even if I happen to start it. _You _will cater to _me._ I'm hungry, you feed me. I'm horny, you fuck me. I'm tired, you let me sleep. I'm stressed; find me some place to take a freaking bubble bath. I don't want to talk about our issues. I don't want to talk about Tori. I will tolerate her, but be a bitch to her if I see fitting and you will not say one word about it." I paused for a moment to take a much needed breath, and my voice softened. "All I want is to be pregnant. And have this baby. And make sure he's healthy. And I know that you want that, too."

I could've sworn I witnessed Beck gulp at that point. But he recovered quickly, with a nod of agreement, before disappearing into the bathroom to shower before school.

I stood triumphantly for a moment, and allowed myself a smile.

That was the first time I'd felt like Jade West in a long time.

* * *

**Short chapter because I was disappointed by lack of reviews.**

**So this is your punishment.**

**Little insight: I am more likely to get motivated to update by reviews.**

**If you read: review. Tell me what you like, what you didn't like, what your favorite part was, your least favorite part, what you want in later chapters. You can even still vote on baby names and whether you think Beck or Jade is right. Hop on it.**

**Also: I know the last few chapters have been slightly disappointing, but hold in there. I promise things are starting to get more interesting soon. Just gotta get the somewhat boring chapters out of the way. Ya feel me? OHKAY, that was lame, but yeah, moral of the story is to review and I won't be in bitchy unappreciated author mode. **

**No one read this. **

**Have a half way decent day. **


	15. Chapter 15

**So sorry it took me so long to update this. I had a birthday and prom and got a job and then life got to be too demanding and it was ridiculous, but here you go!**

* * *

Light brown roots that appeared blonde somehow in contrast to the dark surrounding it. Distasteful purple bags that lingered underneath the eyes. Pasty, tired looking, dry skin. Emerald eyes with a fleck of blue that appeared so much older than they were merely months ago. I glared at the girl staring back at me. My reflection.

I didn't look like Jade West anymore. Not really. My two toned hair and baby bump were anything but intimidating.

Pregnancy was supposed to make you prettier. In some sense, at least. Your hair and nails were supposed to grow long and shiny because of the pre-natal vitamins. Your skin supposedly glows a vibrant color that radiates life. And your chest is typical to grow an average of two bra sizes. Or at least that's what they advertise it to be.

But I just felt tired, run-down…bloated.

And all I wanted was to dye my fucking hair.

I grimaced once more at my reflection before leaving it and the mirror behind, realizing only now that I'd lost track of Beck.

My non-combat footed feet (pregnancy had also taken it's toll on my feet, which were ridiculously swollen) pivoted to the opposite direction, idly wondering if he had wandered off to the produce section of the supermarket. After mere moments of searching the large store, I found the fluffy haired boy loitering in the _organic foods _section of the supermarket.

"What are you doing?" I asked, with a hint of a smirk, as he plopped a box of figs into our vacant cart. "Figs?" I tilted my head to examine them. "Like Fig Newtons?"

"Hi," He smiled up at me, and quickly pecked my flushed cheek. "And not exactly. I read that figs are good for pregnant women."

"Online?" I clarified, still panting at a vigorous pace in an attempt to catch my breath from speed-walking to find him.

I picked up the dried fruit in the plastic container and grimaced. They appeared to be some sort of dried rotten banana-looking-things. Definitely not like Fig Newtons.

"No," and the cart was now in motion, and he was a signaling me to follow along. I complied, and discarded the disappointing fruit back into the confines of the cart. "I read them in the baby book."

_Baby book?_ Since when did we have a baby book? A crease involuntarily appeared between my unkept eyebrows, and I assumed that was enough of a question for him, because he quickly went on to say that he stole the book from his parent's house when they weren't home.

The remainder of the groceries consisted primarily of health foods and fresh fruits and vegetables. I stifled each one of my complaints and reminded myself this was all an important part of the _Get Jade and The Baby Healthy _program. I reminded myself more so that this was the _Make Sure Your Baby Is Happy and Healthy _campaign. Because that was a sure way to keep myself on board. Even if I had to eat broccoli.

He did, however, earn an odd glance from me when he piled four gallons of orange juice into the car. "Orange juice is really good for the baby," He explained. "The vitamin C is good for the both of you."

"Wow," I breathed, utterly in awe for just a moment at Beck's sudden burst of knowledge. "You've been reading a lot into this, huh?" I asked, scanning the upcoming aisles for ice cream.

"Yeah," Beck smiled sheepishly at me, as he robotically placed the _Lichter's_ carton I had tried to sneak into the cart back into the frozen canister. "I just want to be prepared, 'ya know?"

I did know. I wanted to be prepared, too. I wanted to be everything this baby needed and deserved, which is why I had been working hard to readjust my life accordingly.

I had stopped drinking coffee, figuring the lack of caffeine would allow me to fall asleep easier, (which it did, it just made me a whole hell of a lot more bitchy in the process.) Cigarette smokers say if you make it the first three days without having a cigarette, you can quit for good. It's been five and I still want to jump every person holding a Styrofoam cup within a ten foot radius of me. I also started eating better, mostly organic stuff, which was also easier now that my stomach wasn't constantly filled with caffeine.

Buckling down on my studies was another one of my changes. If I was expecting to graduate in May, with the rest of my class, and have a baby, I would need to get caught up in school and _fast. _It was nearing February, and I was failing half of my classes.

Beck and I passed the hair-dye aisle, and I internally cursed the Universe for the sick tease, and must have also cursed aloud a bit, because Beck shot me a look of confusion. "What?"

"I want to dye my hair," I whined.

He grinned for a millisecond. "You know you can't."

I rolled my eyes, and practically groaned out "Yes, I know I can't." before crossing my arms, and stomping my foot (very much like a pouting toddler, might I add) and then proceeded to growl, "It's just not fair. I just feel so damn…_ugly._ And dying my hair always made me feel so fresh, and new…and _pretty."_

Beck was chuckling now—attempting to disguise it by placing his fist over his mouth—but still obviously laughing at my turmoil, nonetheless.

"Quit laughing at me," I demanded, even if some part of me knew my miniscule temper tantrum may be slightly comical.

He abandoned the car and made his way over to me now, planting a chaste kiss on my forehead. "I'm sorry," he told me, as he wiped his chocolate brown eyes that had begun to develop moisture due to his obnoxious fit of cackling.

I still didn't un-cross my arms. Not until he separated them by capturing my fists and squeezing them softly with one of his. "You're beautiful, Jade."

I frowned, "I'm huge."

A smile spread across his sunkissed face, and he rested his free hand on the base of my ever-growing stomach. "You're pregnant. And beautiful." He leaned in so that our noses nearly touched, and swiftly kissed mine. "And very cute when you're distressed."

"Shut up." I laughed, and strode back to our unaccompanied cart, pushing it in the direction of the makeup aisle.

We walked in silence for a while, and eventually he spoke up, requesting that he push the cart instead of I. The old Jade would have put up a fight. But I simply smiled, gripped my stomach, and moved out of his way. Pregnant Jade would just have to allow him to make her feel insignificant every once and a while.

* * *

"Did you really mean what you said earlier?" I asked, as we unloaded groceries from the bed of Beck's truck—well, as he unloaded groceries and I watched, which was something else he insisted upon.

"Mean what?" He asked, carrying a gallon of milk in each arm, before briefly disappearing into the trailer to stock the fridge with the dairy products.

The sun was setting in Hollywood on that Sunday evening, and my view was a mixture of the gorgeous scenery from the bed of Beck's truck in the Oliver's quaint driveway, and the sight of my sweaty kind-of-ex-kind-of-boyfriend-baby daddy, who was sporting a wife-beater, messy hair, and getting somewhat sweaty from all of the hauling of the food and whatnot. I couldn't help but smile a toothy grin at the boy.

"When you said you still thought I was beautiful." I told him when he re-appeared outside.

He narrowed his eyes at me, as if he wasn't entirely sure the question was serious. When he realized I was, he made his way over to me, and propped himself up by my side. "Absolutely."

I turned my head to grin at him, and as I did, the wind blew several pieces of hair into my face. Beck outreached a tan hand to swipe the stray hairs behind my ear, and smiled back just as wide at me. "Even with the horrendous roots?"

He laughed, but then nodded. "Yes," and kissed the top of my head. "Even with the horrendous roots."

I bit down on my lip briefly. "And even if I get _really_, _really_ fat?"

"Even if you get ridiculously fat—which you won't—but yes, even if you did, I would still think you were beautiful." A kiss to my baby bump now.

And I smiled a heartfelt smile. "Even if my hair looks disgusting forever, and I get obscenely fat… he's worth it."

Beck shook his head and grinned up at the sunset. "Yes," he agreed, "_She _is."

* * *

**And yeah, sorry this is so short and cheesy and uneventful and basically sucks. I promise next chapter will be better and longer and updated soon and feature the gang.**

**If you guys review, that is.**

**Speaking of reviews: Thank you all so very much for all your kind words and support. You are truly the best and I love you all. Please keep it up. **


	16. Chapter 16

**I really suck. **

**I know I really, really, fucking suck.  
**

**I am so sorry it took me so long to update this. Summer has been super busy, and I know you'd think I'd have a bunch of free time, but you'd be wrong. Sorry to you all. Hope you guys have been well. **

**Anyway, leave me reviews and tell me what you think. I worked hard on this chapter. **

**Love you all.**

* * *

The next morning was a Monday. Typically, the mention of a Monday morning would be enough to implant a permanent grimace on my face, but this morning I awoke well-rested, oddly enough, (especially considering the vigorous bedroom activities that had transpired the evening before) with a sort of optimism in my system I couldn't remember feeling for quite some time, and a generous array of hickies plastered along my skin.

I didn't drink coffee anymore. Not even my daily dose. It was difficult, at first, and the _cold turkey _quit had resulted in quite a bit of bitchiness that had been taken out on poor Beckett, but it was better for me and the baby. So I did it. God only knows how.

So I drink my herbal tea upon waking, ate a hearty bowl of breakfast oatmeal, enwrapped my hair in a ridiculous bun atop my head to hide my even-more-ridiculous roots, and covered the little love bites Beck had left on my flesh before we drove to Hollywood Arts.

Per usual, we were immediately bombarded with the interested stares of our fellow classmates upon entering the building. Girls who either wished they were me, or were convinced I was going to burn in hell. Guys who either wished they were me, (and were too frightened to admit their ongoing infatuation with Beck Oliver,) or boys who judged me for my and-quote promiscuity. Mental eyeroll. But, as brainless as these high school students were, I couldn't muster the energy to glare or growl or even be remotely irritated. Some part of me even wanted to smile at their stare. Creepy. These motherly hormones were really getting to me.

But as Beck smiled back at my half-smile and led me to my scissor-decored locker, I wondered if maybe it wasn't _just _the hormones. Perhaps it was the boy who seemed to cause every other emotion that lurked within my dark and battered soul. Perhaps it was love.

The cheesy thought was shoo-ed away as Cat and Robbie bounced over to us. I was in the midst of putting in my locker combination when their hand-in-hand stature set me off. I stared at their inter-laced fingers carefully, and cocked my head to the side when I thought I could spot beads of sweat on the nerd's palm.

"Good morning!" Cat sang.

"Guten tag!" Robbie boasted, and I was surprised when it didn't physically pain me to resist rolling my eyes.

"Good morning," Beck returned, with a grin for the redhead. He, too, seemed to take a notice in the hand-holding occurring, but looked at it in a more positive light for some reason I couldn't begin to understand that early in the morning. But I did notice, or rather didn't notice, Robbie's irritating puppet that he often insists on carrying around. Perhaps him swindling away my best friend wasn't all for not.

"Morning." I mumbled, not bothering to look their way, as I snatched my English book from the metal shelf before slamming the locker.

And as I turned to the threesome, Cat was suddenly on her knees at my feet. "And how's my little niece this morning?" She cooed in a disgusting baby-voice, rubbing her little hands on my belly.

My eyes widened in horror at the display that was quickly drawing very unwanted-attention. "_Cat." _I hissed. _"_Get the fuck _up_!"

The snarl in my voice was enough to do the trick. She shot up quickly, with a whimper and returned to Robbie's side, slightly standing behind him. He rubbed a sweaty hand down her bare arm, and smiled reassuringly at the girl. "It's okay, cutie." She smiled back. I felt my oatmeal coming back up.

But then the appalled expression returned to her face. "_Jade! _Don't _curse _around the baby!" She ordered in a hushed-tone.

Beck smirked an amused-smirk and rustled my hair, to which I flinched away from. "Yeah, Jade. Don't curse around the baby." And although I could tell by his tone that he was joking, it was enough to raise yet another snarl out of me.

"It's _my _baby and _my _tongue, so fuck _off."_ I sneered, only to earn laughter from that doting baby-daddy of mine.

"Babe, I'm kidding." Beck chuckled, and reached for my hand, which I gave it to him without much protest, before turning back to Cat. "Your niece is doing just fine, thank you."

"Her _nephew _is doing great." I corrected, with a playful glare at Beck.

The warning sing-song bell sounded, signaling our cue to report to first period. I planted a parting kiss on Beck's lips. "You're not really mad at me, are you?"

I smirked, and brought my face closer to his (well, as close as possible, as my swollen belly separated our bodies). "I guess not." I told him softly.

He smiled back at me. "Good. I was only kidding. And besides," His grin widened and he rested a tanned palm on my flushed cheek, "I would _never _want you to stop doing anything you do with that tongue." He planted another chaste kiss on my lips before turning in the direction of his Theatre History class.

I, dumbfoundedly, pivoted to walk in the opposite direction, journeying to my first period English class. Not even the fact that I would have to spend the next fifty-so minutes setting beside Tori Vega could ruin this day.

.

"You know, I heard that if a teacher doesn't show up ten minutes after the class has started, we can leave." Vega muttered.

I nodded, appreciatively, at the comment. Mr. Lensky was never late. Punctuality was a virtue to the poor man. But for some reason, today, he was a no-show.

"How long has it been?" I wondered out loud, finding it a daunting task to check the clock on the far-west wall.

Tori quickly clarified by checking her Pearphone before telling me, "Eleven."

I stood true to my word in that I wouldn't be too-entirely-cruel to Tori, (unless she royally pissed me off, that is) and to my surprise, it wasn't that difficult. Pregnancy hormones were supposed to make you bitchy, or I suppose in my case: bitchi_er_, but here I was 'Sally Fucking Sunshine'.

I began to tap my naturally grown nails, enhanced by the various array of prenatal vitamins I was ingesting on a daily basis, against the wood of my desk, impatiently, for several moments before throwing my head back and groaning.

"Fuck it. If Mr. Lensky doesn't have to be here, then neither do I." I announced before throwing my tote bag over my shoulder and departing from the classroom.

"Jade, wait!" I heard Tori called just as the door crashed shut behind me.

Ironically, my Pearphone embarked on a buzzing fest in my jacket pocket just then. I scooped it up, and narrowed my eyes at the unrecognizable number before them. Something possessed me for a moment and I clicked '_Talk'_ almost instinctively.

"Hello?" I asked, uneasily, beginning to walk briskly—more like a waddle—to my locker.

"Jade? Hi! It's Dr. Roberts! I was just calling to let you know that your test results came in." My breath immediately hitched, and I placed a hand upon my stomach involuntarily.

"Yes, yes—it's Jade. Hi." My voice sounded shaky and I mentally cursed at myself for being so nervous, when in all actuality it was imperative. Of course I would be nervous. It concerned my son's health. What kind of mother wouldn't be?

"How are you doing this morning?" She asked, with a bit too much enthusiasm.

I'd arrived at my locker at this point, and decided it required too much effort to stand any longer. I sat cross-legged at the foot of the wall and tossed my bag down on the floor beside me. "I'm doing okay, kind of tired." I replied, and as if on some type of cue, felt a yawn stirring in my throat.

"Glad to hear it. Oh! You're not in school, are you?"

I began to anxiously fiddle my thumbs, balancing the phone between my cheek and shoulder. "Yes—yes, I am. But it's alright. I can talk." I reassured her, wishing the small talk would surpass soon enough. I just wanted to know my baby was going to be okay.

Even if it was something as mere as gestational diabetes, a very treatable condition, it scared me half to death to think my son may have it. Especially in light of recent events. If something was wrong with him, I could never forgive myself. The haunting thought that it was my fault would forever follow me.

"Is my baby okay?" I choked out, suddenly.

She almost chuckled. "Yes, your baby is fine. Still a little small—but no gestational diabetes." I exhaled, and I don't think I realized how fast my heart had been beating in that awaiting moment until the good news was announced. My doctor paused and I heard a rustling of papers on the other line. "I wanted to speak to you about this in person originally. Perhaps you and Beck could come in after school so I could check up on you?"

My eyebrows furrowed. "I thought my next appointment wasn't until next month."

"Yes, but I typically like to discuss test results with both the mother _and _the father. If today won't work, we could reschedule."

I gnawed on my lip for half a second. My subconscious nearly flinched at the thought of returning to the doctor's office. I had changed my lifestyle drastically since our last appointment. I only ate organic foods. I cut out caffeine from my diet. I worked vigorously on my schoolwork, and getting a full night's sleep. And last, but most dramatically, I admitted my love for Beck. And although I felt so much better, so much _healthier, _it terrified me to go back to the doctor. It was as if this were some test to insure my work had paid off. And I wasn't ready for the blame that would be bestowed on my head if that weren't the case.

"Um, no." I felt beads of sweat developing quickly on my back. "Today will work just fine."

"Great!" She boasted. "I'll see you and Beck at 3:30 then?"

"Yeah, see you at 3:30." I returned, not near as enthusiastically, before hanging up.

.

I didn't return to first period. And when Beck and Andre met me at my locker during passing period, I couldn't mask my nervousness.

Half-way through second period, I received a text from Beck requesting I meet him in the janitor's closet.

"What's up with you?" He asked once the closet door was shut and locked and we were alone. He ran an idle hand through his hair. By this, I clearly knew my behavior was unnerving him and immediately felt guilty.

"Nothing." I said, a bit too high, a bit too defensive. "I just… I got a call from Dr. Roberts during first period."

Beck's eyes narrowed darkly, and he peered down at my abdomen. "Is she okay?"

I smirked a bit, disregarding the live-in butterflies permeating my stomach. "_He _is fine. The gestational diabetes test was negative. But the doc wanted to see us, still."

It wasn't until he exhaled brilliantly in relief that I'd realized he was holding his breath. "Did she say what about?"

I leaned against the nearest brick wall and shrugged, attempting to hide my nervousness with casualty. "No. Just wanted to give us the good news in person, I guess." I examined him and swore I noticed a small smile. "She said she preferred to talk to both the mom and the dad."

He smiled at my word choice and bid me a celebratory kiss and didn't say another word.

.

The remainder of the day passed in a somewhat tedious blur. I set my nerves aside and attempted to focus on my studies, though it was a daunting task.

We beat Los Angeles afternoon traffic in time to make it to the doctor's office at 3:30 on the dot.

Though every stoplight we came to on the journey almost immediately turned green, and it seemed like the universe was on my side for once, the lingering surplus of butterflies fluttering within me wouldn't cease.

Beck squeezed my hand suddenly. "Babe?" He asked, and I realized the car was long-parked, and he was waiting on me to exit the car.

"Oh, sorry." I muttered, shaking away my distracting thoughts.

"Everything is okay, Jade. We're out of the woods." And I nodded, with a reassuring smile, trying not to doubt him.

Beck led me to the front desk, and told the receptionist my name. The plump woman smiled in recognition and typed several things into her computer before ordering us to proceed to the waiting room.

I still hated doctor's offices. Everything about them left a bad taste in my mouth. _Just get this over with. It'll all be okay. We're out of the woods,_ I kept telling myself as we waited for what seemed like eons for our doctor.

Finally, my name was called by a nurse dressed in lollipop scrubs. I scoffed. They went to weigh me and surprisingly, I didn't grimace at the number. Beck and I shared a private smile towards each other at the noticeable weight gain in the short time. Nothing dramatic, but it was progress, nonetheless.

We didn't have to await Dr. Roberts arrival for much longer. She greeted us with her routine friendly smile, and the fact that it didn't look staged calmed me immensely.

"Beck, I'm sure Jade has told you that the test results for gestational diabetes came back negative?"

"Yes, she did." He beamed, and reached forward to rest his palm on the nape of my back.

"Good!" She smiled and dimmed the lights, setting up the sonogram machine in that whirlwind way that she did nearly everything. "Okay, Jade, why don't you lay back? I just want to get a quick look at Baby West and then you'll be on your way."

Some part of me noticed Beck's short-lived frown when she referred to our child using my surname, but I disregarded and did as I was told, hoping to get out of that miniscule white room that made me feel like a mental patient as soon as possible.

She rubbed the jelly-like substance on my bare-belly, and I flinched at the temperature, which felt oddly routine at this point.

"Everything is looking just fine," She noted, as the machine explored the confines of my uterus.

Beck moved closer, and peered at the screen. "Is that her hand?" He asked, gesturing to a very hand-like fuzz on the monitor.

"That is _the baby's _hand, yes." She zoomed in to show me. "You see it, Jade? That's your baby's hand."

I smiled at the detail. I could see my son's little fingers, maybe even—fingernails? He was perfect. And I couldn't wait to see him in real life, to have those sweet fingers curled around one of mine.

"Yeah, I do." I told her, and though I was in awe, staring at the monitor, at my baby, I felt Beck kiss my forehead, and I could feel him smile against my skin.

Suddenly, she was flicking off the machine, returning the monitor to the far corner of the exam room and cleaning off my stomach. I rolled my shirt down, and sat up, (with some help from Beck) "The baby is looking really good. Still a bit small, of course, but definitely improving. _He _or _she _is definitely healthy. Do you still want the sex to be a surprise?"

I looked to Beck for a moment, and he nodded. "Mm, yeah, I think we do."

"Alright! Well then I'll see you both on the 27th of next month?"

We both nodded, and our doctor smiled in resolution before leading us out of the exam room, and bidding us a quick and painless goodbye.

Beck and I walked silently to the car, and once the doors were shut firmly instead of slammed, I let out a very small (though incredibly embarrassing) squeal of happiness.

.

That evening, Beck's parents went out for dinner. We decided to take advantage of their absence and take a celebratory bath in their indoor Jacuzzi, although it did take quite a bit of convincing on my part.

Beck drew us a warm bath as I raided his parent's fridge. "Anything good?" He hollered at me from the master bedroom.

I grimaced at the array of health food before my eyes. "Mmm, not really. Mostly organic shit." I scowled at what I assumed—and hoped—to be wheatgrass.

"Sounds perfect for my girlfriend and unborn child." Beck appeared in the doorway to the kitchen with a grin and tousled hair.

"It's been a really long time since I've heard you call me your girlfriend." I couldn't help but smile as I shut the fridge and made my way to his arms, which opened warmly for my slightly larger body.

He squinted his beautiful eyes at me. "Isn't that what you are?"

I scoffed. "I'd like to think so, seeing as I'm pregnant with your bastard."

"Do you have to be so crude?"

I smirked. "I do."

.

"It's kind of weird being here," He admitted as we made our way back to the master bath.

"Bad weird?" I asked, somewhat concerningly as he brought my shirt over my head for me.

"No...Not necessarily. It's just been a while." He answered, as I rid him of his shirt and he quickly searched to unhook my bra to reveal my even fuller than usual breasts.

We continued to undress one another until there was a generous pile of clothing on the floor. He played with the controls on the base of the Jacuzzi to turn on the jets as we stepped into the tremendously warm water.

I settled into the water with my back against his chiseled, bare chest. He leaned forward and placed a chaste kiss on my shoulder, wrapping his arms around my frame.

"You know, I was thinking maybe we should move the RV." He muttered into my skin.

"Like where?" I asked, softly.

There was a brief silence and the relaxing sound of the jets and his skin against mine caused me to involuntarily shut my eyes. I kept them shut as Beck continued to speak. "I don't know. We could figure it out. I just think we shouldn't be so close to my parents forever, ya know?"

I leaned further into him. "Yeah, I know."

We were silent for several minutes, merely enjoying each other's company and the sound of the Jacuzzi jets and the sound of the other's breathing—which sounded a lot like victory—before Beck began chuckling.

"What?" I asked, somewhat irritated at the abrupt noise. "What's so funny?"

"Oh, nothing." But I could hear the smug smile in his voice.

"What is it?" I demanded, jabbing my elbow gently into his rib.

"It's just that—I just can't believe I witnessed Jade West _squeal_ earlier."

My eyes involuntarily rolled dramatically. "Oh _shut up,_ Beckett." I commanded, feeling my cheeks blush a slight shade of red suddenly. Ugh. Jade West does not blush and she most certainly does not squeal.

"Oh come _on, _Jade." He laughed. "It was cute."

He briefly poked at my side but I shooed his hand away beneath the water with my own. "It was not, you twat."

His sly lips somehow swiftly kissed my cheek, and I turned my face the opposite direction. "Go away." I hissed, and attempted to wriggle out of his arms, though his grasp around me was tight.

Another short chuckle escaped his mouth. "I'm sorry. Babe." Tanned hands began to rub up and down my white thighs. "To make it up to you, how about you let me make you squeal a squeal of a completely different nature?" His hands wandered farther up to my inner thigh and I knew good and well my chances of fighting were now completely hopeless.

I flipped my body around to face him, and planted a kiss on his warm neck. "I suppose we can arrange that."


End file.
